May 5, 2011

Making A Break For It

So I'm sitting next to my mother-in-law in the hospital.

"I'd like to go outside," she announces.

"And I'd like to take you," I tell her.  "But you're not allowed out of bed.  Doctor's orders.  Besides," I try to make it better.  "It's cold and rainy."

"Hmm..."  She takes this in.

A minute later, "Maybe I'll just go for a walk in the hall."

"Sorry, you can't," I tell her.  "You have to stay in bed."

"I don't need to get dressed," she bulldozes over my objection.  "I can go like this."  She pushes the covers back and prepares to sit up in her hospital gown.

"As lovely a fashion statement as that gown is," I say, encouraging her to lie back down, "you cannot go out in the hall like that."  (Seriously.  There would be emotional scarring.)

"Hmm...."  She subsides again.

A minute later her face brightens.  "I need to go to the bathroom,"she says.

"Not by yourself," I remind her.  "The nurses have to help."  I ring for the nurse.

She bustles in to see what's needed.  When I explain, she goes off in search of another nurse.  This is a two person job.

Together, the nurses help my mother-in-law swing her feet over the edge of the bed.  Then, with one on either side, they get her to her feet.

Right away, she dives for the walker parked near the bed.  "I'm just going for a walk in the hall," she says breezily.

"Oh, no, you're not!" say the nurses.  "You said you needed the bathroom."

"I don't," says my mother-in-law with what can only be described as a mischievous glint in her eye.  "But since I'm up, I do need a walk."

There is a brief argument over hall-walking and whether the bathroom will be used or not, ending with my mother-in-law back in bed.

But you've got to hand it to her.  She's a woman with a plan.  I can only wonder what she'll come up with next :)

Apologies for the chaos of my posting schedule this week.  Someone's got to keep an eye on the old bird!


  1. That's hilarious! Good luck with that mischievous woman.

  2. What a great story (and it perfectly illustrates your point about the chaotic posting schedule). I almost want her to get that walk...

  3. Aww, poor thing, she just wasn't going to get her way that day...maybe she can try again another day:)


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