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January 30, 2013

Would You Read It Wednesday #74 - Slurp, Slurp, Slurp (PB)

Woo-hoo!  It's Wednesday!  Which means it's only 2 days until February!  Which means it's only 3 days until GROUNDHOG DAY!!!!!

Sorry for the shouting, but Phyllis and I are just so darn excited! :)

Are you ready for Phyllis's Fun Photo Contest?  (If you need details and the downloadable Phyllis action figure check HERE.)

If you know any good groundhog/Groundhog Day riddles please post them on Phyllis's FB page.  Cathy and Beth have already put up some good ones!

Also, it's only 2 days until the official start of my course.  I'm very excited (and a little nervous!) about that!

So.  Who's in the mood for Something Chocolate?  Let me take a peek in my pantry and see what I have today....  Oooh!  Yummmm!

credit
We could probably use a glass of milk to go with that...
chocolate... of course :)
Today's pitch comes to us from Elaine.  Elaine is an elementary school teacher by day, a mother of two (and two furry children) by night and a picture book author every minute in between. 

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Slurp, Slurp, Slurp
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4-6)
The Pitch: When Becca receives a gecko for her birthday, mayhem ensues when the crickets that were bought to feed it, spill to the floor.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Elaine improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in March, so we could really use some new pitches!  It's your chance to be read by editor Erin Molta!

Elaine is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to starting my course... and Groundhog Day!!!

Have a great day, everyone! :)

Oh!  P.S.  I forgot to say, for anyone who was interested from Monday's Short & Sweet, that the books I took the beginnings from were 1. Harry And Horsie  2. Boris And The Snoozebox  3.  McDuff Moves In  4. Tops And Bottoms  5. Imogene's Antlers  6. The Carpenter's Gift  7. Mr. Duck Means Business  8. Crafty Chloe  9. Hedgehog Goes To Kindergarten  10. Jeremy Draws A Monster

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55 comments:

  1. Angela BrownJanuary 30, 2013 at 7:43 AM

    LOL for today's WYRI! I'm not the worlds biggest fan of bugs and creepy crawlies, but the chaos that would and could ensue from those crickets falling to the floor just got my imagination racing. So yes, I would read it :-)

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  2. Stacy S. JensenJanuary 30, 2013 at 8:09 AM

    That's a tight pitch. I'll be short too, Yes. Good Luck.
    And, Susanna, Good luck with the class!

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  3. PamJanuary 30, 2013 at 8:28 AM

    It's short and sweet. I can picture fun images and an enjoyable read. It's good as is, but I wonder if there's a way to insert a sense of some more of the humor into the pitch. Can you give us a teaser as to what some of the mayhem is?

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  4. Wendy GreenleyJanuary 30, 2013 at 9:06 AM

    I'm a maybe. I am a total softie about animals (even crickets!) and I don't want to see the crickets get hurt, and by mayhem I don't know if there are any squishes that would make my flesh crawl. But that's just me being me.

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  5. delores @ thefeatherednestJanuary 30, 2013 at 9:40 AM

    Well I'm not a fan of nature shows and critters eating other critters but I know my grandson would like it so....yes.

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  6. Sue HeavenrichJanuary 30, 2013 at 11:10 AM

    I love geckos and I love bugs - and having homeschooled boys and had any number of interesting pets share the kitchen counter I can see this as a picture book. But I think the pitch needs to start with the first problem. Crickets spilling on the floor? what happens? do they hop into the cupboards and under the stove? do they hop under mom's bed? So I guess I'm a "maybe" ...

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  7. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 11:38 AM

    Hi Sue! Thanks for your comments. This is a cumulative picture book, so each action builds on the next as they run around the house! I will certainly add that in to my pitch now! Thanks!

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  8. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 11:40 AM

    No critters were harmed in the making of this picture book. :)

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  9. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 11:40 AM

    Wendy,

    No critters were harmed in the making of the picture book. :)

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  10. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 11:47 AM

    Hi Pam!
    The crickets are chased by the cat, who is chased by the dog, who is chased by the girl. It's in the same vein as the NAPPIING HOUSE or THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT. Fun and quirky.

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  11. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 11:47 AM

    Thank you Stacy!!! :)

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  12. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 11:48 AM

    Thank you Angela!!! :)

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  13. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 11:58 AM

    Thank you Stacy!

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  14. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 11:58 AM

    Thank you Angela!

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  15. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 11:59 AM

    Thank you Stacy!

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  16. Heather NewmanJanuary 30, 2013 at 1:14 PM

    Yes, but maybe an example or two of the chaos would help create curiosity about the story.

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  17. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 1:52 PM

    Thanks so much Heather! I will definitely try to work that into the pitch! :)

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  18. Susanna Leonard HillJanuary 30, 2013 at 2:03 PM

    Thanks for chiming in, Angela! :)

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  19. Susanna Leonard HillJanuary 30, 2013 at 2:05 PM

    Thanks Stacy - for the comments for Elaine and for the good luck! :)

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  20. Susanna Leonard HillJanuary 30, 2013 at 2:06 PM

    Thanks so much for your helpful suggestions, Pam! :)

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  21. Susanna Leonard HillJanuary 30, 2013 at 2:07 PM

    Very helpful to have your perspective, Wendy - thanks so much for sharing. I have to say, I don't like the idea of the crickets getting eaten :( but I know geckos have to eat too.

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  22. Susanna Leonard HillJanuary 30, 2013 at 2:10 PM

    Thanks for sharing, Delores - I think you have a good point!

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  23. Susanna Leonard HillJanuary 30, 2013 at 2:12 PM

    Thanks so much for your very helpful comments for Elaine, Sue! :)

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  24. Susanna Leonard HillJanuary 30, 2013 at 2:12 PM

    Thanks for your suggestions for Elaine, Heather! :)

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  25. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 2:16 PM

    Thank you Heather! I will work that into the pitch!

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  26. MariaJanuary 30, 2013 at 2:24 PM

    I'm a "maybe". There's something to be said for short and sweet, but this may be a little *too* short. My guess is your book contains some hilarious mayhem, so maybe work that humor into the pitch? How, for example, does the title connect to the story? We love books about chaos in our house, so the idea appeals :)

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  27. Susanna Leonard HillJanuary 30, 2013 at 2:31 PM

    Thanks very much for your helpful suggestions for Elaine, Maria! :)

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  28. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 2:38 PM

    Thank you Maria! I will be sure to work that into the pitch! :)

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  29. Vivian KirkfieldJanuary 30, 2013 at 3:33 PM

    Thanks for the yummies, Susanna! Looking forward to PPBF and then Groundhog Day and all of your Phyllis festivities! And good luck with the first day of your course.:)

    Elaine...I would definitely read your book...what a unique story idea.:) I agree with many of the other comments...a little more about the specific chaos would be great...so maybe two sentences instead of one...and perhaps don't use the word 'when' twice in one sentence.:)

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  30. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 4:19 PM

    Thank you, Vivian! I hadn't even noticed that I had used "when" twice! I will certainly add more of the chaos in the pitch. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment!

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  31. GenevieveJanuary 30, 2013 at 4:24 PM

    I was about to say no - not enough content to sink my teeth into. I'm glad I read the comments. The whole cumulative aspect is critical. The pitch needs that! Now I am a resounding YES!

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  32. Susanna Leonard HillJanuary 30, 2013 at 5:03 PM

    Thank you, Vivian for all your kind and supportive comments to me, and for your helpful thoughts for Elaine! :)

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  33. Susanna Leonard HillJanuary 30, 2013 at 5:04 PM

    Thanks so much for chiming in for Elaine, Genevieve!

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  34. coleen patrickJanuary 30, 2013 at 5:36 PM

    I'm intrigued by the cricket chaos. :) My sister once collected an aquarium full of them when she was 5 and I was 7. Then she put them in the garage. What a mess!

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  35. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 6:13 PM

    Thanks Genevieve! Phew! I guess you just reinforced the importance of adding that it's a cumulative story to my pitch!

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  36. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 6:14 PM

    Thanks Coleen! I hope that means that you give is a "YES"…:)

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  37. Susanna Leonard HillJanuary 30, 2013 at 6:16 PM

    I'm not sure I want to know... :) Thanks for your comments for Elaine, Coleen!

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  38. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 6:20 PM

    Thanks Genevieve! You've made me realize that adding the cumulative aspect is critical to the pitch. Thank you so much for taking the time to read the comments!

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  39. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 6:21 PM

    Thanks Coleen! I hope that means that you would give my pitch a "YES!" What a mess that must have been!

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  40. coleen patrickJanuary 30, 2013 at 6:38 PM

    Yes! :)

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  41. This Kid Reviews BksJanuary 30, 2013 at 7:18 PM

    YAYYYY!!! I have a great idea for Phyllis!

    I must say, I would read the book, but I just don't get why the book is called "Slurp, slurp, slurp".

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  42. Susanna Leonard HillJanuary 30, 2013 at 7:27 PM

    Phyllis is jumping up and down with excitement! She can't wait to see what you have planned! She knows it will be better than snoozy old Blueberry Hill! :) And thanks for your comment for Ms. Kearns!

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  43. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 7:55 PM

    The reason it is called SLURP. SLURP. SLURP is revealed at the end of the book! Thanks for the "yes" :)

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  44. ElaineJanuary 30, 2013 at 7:56 PM

    Hurrah! Thank you!!

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  45. Patricia NozellJanuary 30, 2013 at 9:46 PM

    Happy to learn that Phyllis has a new FB page in time for the BIG DAY. The Two Orange Pups & I just printed off her image - hope our paws can do her justice!


    Re Elaine's pitch, YES, I would read it. The image of crickets all over the place made me laugh out loud!

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  46. Susan CabaelJanuary 30, 2013 at 11:41 PM

    YES! The idea of escapee crickets instantly filled my mind with wild images...fun! I'd like to read one or two more sentences with details from the book to give me a better sense of what turns the action may take.

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  47. ElaineJanuary 31, 2013 at 6:14 AM

    Yay! Thank you for taking the time to comment, Susan!

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  48. ElaineJanuary 31, 2013 at 6:15 AM

    Yes! Whoo hoo! Thank you , Patricia!

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  49. Teresa RobesonJanuary 31, 2013 at 10:29 PM

    I would totally read this because my family are nature freaks and we love geckos and crickets! (My older son was educating me on the differences between the crickets that come into our basement...LOL!). Sounds great, Elaine!

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  50. Susanna Leonard HillFebruary 1, 2013 at 6:39 AM

    Thanks so much for chiming in for Elaine, Teresa! :)

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  51. ElaineFebruary 1, 2013 at 6:52 AM

    Thanks Teresa! Sounds like you've got yourself a science major in the making! Thanks for taking time to comment! :)

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  52. Teresa RobesonFebruary 1, 2013 at 11:49 AM

    You're welcome, Elaine! And, yeah, he's already specified biology as his potential major when he took the SAT. :)

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  53. Teresa RobesonFebruary 1, 2013 at 11:51 AM

    My pleasure, Susanna! I would be here to comment for every single post of yours if I could find the time. But I do read your posts as emails! :)

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  54. Susanna Leonard HillFebruary 1, 2013 at 11:55 AM

    Aw! That's so nice :) Don't worry - I know how busy we all are, and we must have time for writing, not just reading and commenting on blogs, fun as it is. I am grateful for any time you read and/or comment :)




























    Teresa Robeson wrote, in response to Susanna Leonard Hill:

    My pleasure, Susanna! I would be here to comment for every single post of yours if I could find the time. But I do read your posts as emails! :)

    User's website
    Link to comment
    IP address: 75.107.146.216

    ReplyDelete
  55. Susanna Leonard HillFebruary 21, 2013 at 6:12 PM

    Thanks for chiming in for Elaine, Susan!

    ReplyDelete

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