January 16, 2013

Would You Read It Wednesday #72 - The Good For Plenty Bibs (PB) AND The December Pitch Pick

I just have to say, I love our writing community!

Where else, on a Monday or Tuesday afternoon, can you find mature adults making up rhymes about poets, or writing songs with animal noises in them for other writers' blogiversaries on Face Book?  (And yes, that certainly IS an excellent and productive use of time!  We're writing, aren't we?! :))

So let's see... what have I accomplished this week?  You mean, aside from the verse about the otter?  Ummm.....

Excuse me while I distract you with Something Chocolate :)
Freepik.com
Please, help yourselves!  While your mouths are full, I'll explain what we're doing today.

Due to December's crazy schedule, we only had 2 pitches, and January has 5 Wednesdays which, for those of you who struggle with math (oh wait, that's me!), means there will be 5 pitches :), so to make the pitch picks more even I put Sidney's from the first Wednesday in January in with the 2 from December so that December's pitch pick will have 3 and January's (when we get there) will have 4.

I hope you were all able to follow my advanced math at this hour of the morning.  More cake?

So here are the revised pitches for the December+ Pitch Pick :)

#1 Julie
Differently Together (formerly Eddie Brick Visits The Aunts) - PB - ages 4-8
When their grandnephew Eddie's visit stirs up their tried-and-true routine, Emmie and Effie Brick find the upset quite upsetting.  Eddie's creativity might just help his aunts learn to enjoy doing things a little differently, together.

#2 Kim
Oyster And Pearl - PB - ages 4-8

Pearl is a tiny grain of sand that lives in the bottom of the ocean. She feels insignificant in her world and both envious AND enamored of the star that she can see far above her. As she sets her sights on joining the star, she encounters many challenges... until finally, one night, she meets Oyster, who helps her become a star of her own.

#3 Sidney
Astrid Climbs Her Family Tree - PB - ages 4-8

When Astrid discovers family photo albums, she can’t figure out how she is related to all these people. Join Astrid as she learns how to draw a family tree, create a gravestone rubbing, build an Aztec pyramid, march like George Washington and chase her boredom away. 

Which do you feel deserves a trip to editor Erin Molta's desk for a read and comments?  Please vote for your favorite by Friday January 18 at 11:59 PM EST and I'll announce the pitch pick winner next week.


Now on to today's pitch comes to us from Linda, whom you may remember from her pitch for Alpha Bitty in October.  Linda is a former gifted and talented teacher and the author of a number of books including the multi-award winning picture book, The Blue Roses.  Please take a moment to visit her website at www.lindaboyden.com.  Here is her pitch:

Working Title: The Good For Plenty Bibs
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 4 and up)
The Pitch: A spanking new pair of bib overalls arrives at the Owens’ family cabin for the oldest boy, Jake’s birthday. Pretty soon he sprouts like a beanstalk and dumps them into Granny’s quilt pile saying, “Good for nothing bibs.” Granny argues, “They’re the good for plenty bibs.” She stitches a pocket up and passes them down to the next boy. So the bibs pass from brother to brother, Granny fixing them up each time. They cycle through rips and tears, ups and downs but finally when the last child and only girl, Annabella, outgrows them Granny agrees: they’ve been patched and re-patched; they’ve lost their midnight blue, their October sky blue, and even their milky morning blue. Now they’re finally the good for nothing bibs. This time Annabella disagrees. With a clever plan and her brothers’ help, the kids work out a surprise that leaves Granny speechless.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Linda improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in February - like in 3 weeks! so seriously we could really use some new pitches!  It's your chance to be read by editor Erin Molta!

Linda is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  I am looking forward to what kind of tomfoolery will show up on Face Book this afternoon :)  It better be good.  My expectations are raised now :)

Have a great day, everyone!

Reactions:

42 comments:

  1. I have voted and drooled. I'm a yes because it sounds like a great Waltons tale! But, I think while this paragraph would be fine for a query letter, it is far too long for a pitch, which should be 2 or 3 sentences. Pare it down, Linda, and I think you have a winner!

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  2. Susanna, you also helped a writer out of her rut this week! Thank you so much!
    I would absolutely read Linda's PB. I love the fact the the littlest one, who was last to receive the hand me down, found it the most worthy to keep. I want more please!

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  3. Good morning, Susanna! Please keep your math to yourself forthwith. All I need to know is that it's votin' time without all those pesky numbers. :)

    I like the concept of this PB, but the pitch needs to be MUCH more succinct, as this one tells almost the whole story.

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  4. So, what did you accomplish? ;)
    I voted for my favorite (although it was hard)...
    I would read it! I like the message. But the pitch, well, seems a bit too long.

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  5. Oooo, I want to read it. I like the originality of the idea and it leaves me dying to know what Annabella has in mind.

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  6. I want to read it - esp. as I found plenty of things to do with faded frayed and nearly threadbare bibs...

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  7. Glad you divided & conquered, so to speak, Susanna.


    Re this pitch, the concept sounds very interesting, Linda, but I think the pitch needs to be trimmed. Perhaps something like, "With a stitch here and a stitch there, Jake's favorite overalls pass from..."


    Best of luck with it!

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  8. I voted!


    I would read because the story sounds really cute and unique, but pitch is much too long.

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  9. delores @ thefeatherednestJanuary 16, 2013 at 10:51 AM

    That sounds like fun and I would read it but I have to agree that the pitch is a tad long. I like Patricia Nozell's idea.

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  10. Sidney Schuhmann LevesqueJanuary 16, 2013 at 11:35 AM

    I would totally read it. I just think it sounds so cute. I love family history and this story with Grandma and passing down a family item and reusing it sounds right up my alley. And I like the suspense in the last sentence of what the youngest child will come up with to leave Grandma speechless. Well done.

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  11. Thanks so much for your positive comments for Linda, Sidney! :)

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  12. Thanks so much for chiming in, Delores! :)

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  13. Thanks so much for voting, Penny, and for your thoughts for Linda! :)

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  14. Thanks for your very helpful suggestions for Linda, Patricia! :)

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  15. Love the passing down, the patching--I think it's a very cute concept! :)

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  16. Thanks, Sue - I'm sure Linda will be happy :)

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  17. I know! I'm wondering that too, Ruth! Thanks for chiming in :)

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  18. Hmm... I must have accomplished something... Oh, I know! I made Scouty Brown a birthday cake :) Thanks for voting and for your opinion for Ms. Boyden!

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  19. I'm sorry, Renee, I don't know WHAT came over me - probably some kind of brain fog brought on by too much math :) Thanks for your helpful comments for Linda!

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  20. I am so glad if I was helpful - it makes me feel MUCH more productive :) Thanks for your comments for Linda - I love the way you put that!

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  21. Thanks for voting, Joanna, and for your helpful suggestion for Linda!

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  22. Thanks for chiming in, Coleen! You probably also like it because of the possibility that the bibs are made of denim, and I know how you love denim :)

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  23. The story sounds great, and I love the title! But too much is given away in the pitch. It needs to be much shorter - just a few concise sentences.

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  24. oh, you know me so well, Susanna! :)

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  25. Yes I would read it - but this needs tightening. Here's a quick but heavy chop-down suggestion:

    When the youngest Owen finally outgrows the passed-down and patched-up overalls, Granny agrees they're done. They’ve lost their midnight blue, their October sky blue, and even their milky morning blue. But Annabella disagrees - with her brothers’ help, and a clever plan, their surprise aims to leave Granny speechless.

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  26. Despite the fact I wrote TODAY"S THE DAY on my calendar, I forgot to look at either it or this. Thanks, Susanna, for the nudge! Next, to ALL, of you, thank you for the comments/suggestions. I am long-winded but at least long-winded is an easy fix. Er, maybe. I am very grateful for so much help. It means a lot. I will stop now. No, really. Hugs!

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  27. Thanks for your very helpful suggestions, Julie! :)

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  28. You're so funny, Linda :) And compared to me you are very succinct :)





























    Linda Boyden wrote, in response to Susanna Leonard Hill:

    Despite the fact I wrote TODAY"S THE DAY on my calendar, I forgot to look at either it or this. Thanks, Susanna, for the nudge! Next, to ALL, of you, thank you for the comments/suggestions. I am long-winded but at least long-winded is an easy fix. Er, maybe. I am very grateful for so much help. It means a lot. I will stop now. No, really. Hugs!

    Link to comment
    IP address: 75.140.127.195

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  29. Not fair! Not fair! All three pitches need to go to Erin.:) I love all of them...but did vote for only one...but only because the poll won't let me vote for more.:) I can see all three as amazing picture books...I hope Sidney and Kim and Julie will all follow through and see their stories get published!
    Regarding Linda's pitch...oh yes...I would definitely read it! I haven't read all of the comments below...but glanced at Julie's and agree the pitch needs tightening. But the story is precious and timeless and I can't wait to find out what the kids do with the patched overalls. I love how the overalls create a bond between all of the siblings...and I love the multi-generational aspect of the book.
    And the cake was delicious, Susanna...I love your treats...they have no calories!

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  30. You are amazing, Julie...you have a gift for honing pitches.:)

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  31. Patricia...love the 'stitch here and a stitch there'!

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  32. Yes, I would read it based solely on the intrigue of the last line. :) I don't like surprises in real life, but I like them in books. LOL!


    Happy Wednesday, Susanna!

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  33. Thanks for voting even though it was hard, Vivian :) And thanks for your helpful comments for Linda. I'm glad you like my cake - I slaved over a hot oven :)

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  34. Thanks so much for coming over to chime in your thoughts for Linda, Teresa! And happy Wednesday to you too :)

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  35. Ooh, I like the premise of this story. Reminds me a little of Joseph Had a Little Overcoat. I'm particularly intrigued that the overalls go through all the boys, and finally land with the (only?) girl.

    Like most of the comments, I'm a yes...but I think the pitch is too long. It's almost as if you're giving away *too* much of the story, and not just hooking the reader in. Trim, and then I'd love to see this again! Good luck!

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  36. Thank you so much for your helpful and encouraging comments for Linda, Maria! :)

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  37. Voted! It was tough, though.

    I think Linda's story sounds GREAT! I love the concept and would read it. I agree with others that the pitch needs to be shortened. The last sentence is great, but what comes earlier that is just too much information. Julie R-Z had some great suggestions, and I liked Patricia's 'stitch here and stitch there' idea.


    I also thought the title was a little confusing... not many people call bib overalls 'bibs,' which is so much more common for a baby's bib. Readers might think this is a book for babies when really it seems older. Maybe she could shorten the title to just "Good for Plenty" or "Good for Plenty Overalls"

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  38. Thanks for voting, Carrie, and for your excellent suggestions for Linda! :)

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  39. You lost me at the chocolately delight. Yum!


    I wouldn't read it. Wrong genre for me. I like Julie's rewrite. :)

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  40. I put that cake there just to see if I could get you to drool on your keyboard, Stina! :)

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  41. Again, thanks so much for the frank and constructive suggestions. Many are now in my working Good for Plenty OVERALLS's ( thank you, Carrie F! Calling them BIBS is something I got from my Tennessee father, but an excellent point) working file.

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