March 20, 2014

The March Madness Writing Contest Is Here!!!

Woo-hoo!!!

Spring is here!

And so is
The MarcMadness Writing Contest!

The Contest: Write a children's story, in poetry or prosemaximum 400 words, that is a fractured fairy tale.  Feel free to add a theme of spring, or mix in one of the spring holidays if you like - St. Patrick's Day, April Fools Day, Easter or Passover, Arbor Day, Earth Day...  Have fun with it!  The madder* the better! :)
*as in wild and wacky, not angry :)
You do not have to include spring - that is optional.
The story can be a picture book or a short story - whatever you like.
If it's a picture book, you may NOT include art notes, because we get into a weird area of whether that's fair in terms of word count and added description etc.  So if you write a picture book that's wonderful, but make sure art notes aren't necessary to understand it.
"Fairy Tale" apparently turned out to be a very debatable term, so my fellow judges and I will do our best to handle whatever you've come up with.
Title not included in word count.

Post:  Your entry should be posted on your blog between right now this very second and Monday March 24 at 11:59 PM EST, and your post-specific link should be added to the link list below which will remain up through Wednesday March 26 so we can all take our time reading and enjoying everyone's stories!  (No PPBF on Friday March 21, no new post on Monday March 24, no WYRI on March 26).  If you don't have a blog but would like to enter, please copy and paste your entry into the comments below.  (If anyone has trouble commenting, which unfortunately happens, please email me and I'll post your entry for you!)

The Judge:  My lovely assistant and I will narrow down the entrants to 6 finalists (or possibly a couple more depending on the number of entries :)) which will be posted here on Thursday March 27 for you to vote on for a winner.  The vote will be closed at 5PM EST on Sunday March 30 and the winner will be announced on Monday March 31.  (No PPBF on Friday March 28.)

The Prizes!:  
 - 1st Prize is a read and critique by Karen Grencik of Red Fox Literary!!! (Unless for some reason you don't want a read and critique by an agent, in which case you may swap for any of the other prizes)

 - 2nd Prize is a picture book manuscript critique (for rhyming mss only) by Lori Degman, author of 1 ZANY ZOO and the forthcoming COCK-A-DOODLE-OOPS! OR a picture book manuscript critique (for non-rhyming mss only) by Cori Doerrfeld, author/illustrator of LITTLE BUNNY FOO FOO and PENNY LOVES PINK as well as illustrator of many others.

 - 3rd Prize is personalized signed copies of THE THREE NINJA PIGS and GOLDI ROCKS & THE THREE BEARS by Corey Rosen Schwartz PLUS a $25 Amazon Gift Card

 - 4th and 5th Prizes are your choice of any two of the following picture books PLUS a $20 Amazon Gift Card:
     - THE THREE LITTLE WOLVES AND THE BIG BAD PIG by Eugene Trivizas
     - CINDY ELLEN: A WILD WESTERN CINDERELLA by Susan Lowell
     - LITTLE RED WRITING by Joan Holub
     - THE THREE LITTLE PIGS AND THE SOMEWHAT BAD WOLF by Mark Teague
     - THE PRINCESS AND THE PEAS by Caryl Hart
     - THE WOLF'S STORY: WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD by Toby Forward
     - GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE DINOSAURS by Mo Willems

 - 6th Prize (which just skated in under the wire - thank you Sudipta!) is a personalized signed copy of hot-off-the-presses SNORING BEAUTY by Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen

And don't forget, all you illustrators, that this will be followed by a related Illustrator Contest in April!!! (to be announced and elaborated on as soon as the writing part of the contest is over! :))

And now, so that everyone will feel happy and confident about posting their stories, I will share my sample, a Wild West twist on The Gingerbread Boy at exactly 400 words (phew!):

The Cornpone Cowboy

     Once upon a time (because that is the way all good fairy tales begin), Farmer Bubba and his lovely bride ThunderLily had the most beautiful ranch in the Wild West.
     The grass was emerald green.
     The rivers were pure as morning dew.
     The cattle were sleek and fat and gave such rich, creamy milk that all the ice cream makers in the world fought over who would get it.
     But even with all this beauty and excellent ice cream, Bubba and ThunderLily were sad.  For though they were surrounded every spring by velvet-eyed calves and stilt-legged foals, fluffy chicks, pink piglets, and wooly lambs, they never had a child of their own.
     Luckily, ThunderLily was not one to sit around moping.  "If I can't have a child, I'll make one," she told her darling Bubba.
     She got cornmeal and buttermilk, eggs, salt, and bacon drippings, and quick as you like she whipped up a sturdy little Cornpone Cowboy.
     "We'll call him Charlemagne," she said dreamily as she plucked the skillet from the barbeque pit.
     "You'll have to catch me first!" snorted the Cornpone Cowboy, and off he rode as fast as his cowpony could carry him.
     He passed the pigpen and the piglets grunted, “Oh, Charlemagne! Come be our friend!”
     “Don’t call me that!” said the Cornpone Cowboy, and he galloped on his way.
     He passed the sheepfold and the lambs baahed, “Oh, Charlemagne! Come be our friend!”
     “Don’t call me that!” said the Cornpone Cowboy, and he galloped on his way.
     He passed the cow barn and the calves mooed, “Oh, Charlemagne! Come be our friend!”
     “Why does everyone insist on calling me that?” said the Cornpone Cowboy, and he galloped on his way.
     And so it was at the hen house…
     . . . the horse pasture…
     . . . and the goat shed.
     Along about sundown a voice called, “Hey, Cowboy! Won’t you come set a spell by the campfire?”
     “Don’t mind if I do,” said the Cornpone Cowboy, tuckered out from galloping. He hopped down from his pony, spurs a-janglin’, and came face to face with…
     . . . COYOTE!
     Quick as a wink he twirled his lariat. . . 
     . . . hog-tied Coyote . . .
     . . . and lit out for home!
     When Bubba and ThunderLily heard his story, ThunderLily said, “That’s our boy! Lightning fast!”
     Which is how he came to be called LightningCharlie instead of Charlemagne (because really, who could live with that?) and they all lived happily ever after!

The End

Wasn't that nice of me?  Now you can all feel brave and smug, secure in the knowledge that your story is better than that!!! :)

Anyone besides me feeling an urge to sing?
     "Like a Cornpone Cowboy
     riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo
     Cornpone Cowboy..."

No? Darn! I was hoping the exceptional quality of my singing would distract you from that story even though "cornpone" doesn't have quite the same ring to it as "rhinestone"  :)

I can't wait to read what you have all come up with!  Let the fun begin! :)

And remember to check back here for entries added in the comments.  I'll list them as they come in :) (Titles link to stories in comments - give them an extra moment to load)

Jennifer C - The Princess And The Pete
Pat H - Jack And The Giant
Angela - The Belle And The Sticker Burrs
Sean - No Spring Chicken Little
Shelly - Prince Frog
Kirsten B - Goldi And Red
Pen - The Sweetie Witch
Connie - Chocolocks And The Three Bunnies
Karen - Little Red Hen's Shiny New Friend
Teresa S - Little Red's Green Cloak
Eric - A Sleeping Beauty
Katie - Little Dead Riding Hood
Robert - Jack And The Beanstalk
Lisa - Rabbi Wolfberg And The Boarmans Celebrate Sukkot
Denise - The Biscuit Man
Kristen - The Boy Who Cried Spring
Jennifer Mc - Little Red Ray
Debbie - The Three Kittens
Gaye - Chocolate Muffins
Nancy - Big Bad Wolf And Red Riding Toad
Robert2 - The Emperor's New Clothes
Kelsi - Goldinocks And The Three Scares
Jen - The Mischievous Fire Truck
Heather - Rap-unzel
Robert3 - Humpty
Hilary - Hare And Tortoise
Sandy - The Three Little Pigs And The Shoemaker
Kelly V - A Fractured Fairy Tail (Literally)




Reactions:

474 comments:

  1. This_Kid_Reviews_Books_ErikMarch 20, 2014 at 6:39 AM

    Hi Ms. Hill! I was just linking my post today to your contest page and I don't see the linky thing for the entries...


    Great story! I wasn't expecting the Cornpone Cowboy to come back! :D


    I'll sing with you (I'll sing a parody of Space Cowboy (though, 'cause my dad sings it, I have a feeling it's completely off)):
    I'm a food cowboy!
    Bet you weren't ready for that!
    'Cuz I'm a food cowboy...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hopefully, I'm doing this right -- I've been a reading your blog for awhile but haven't commented before now. The word count on this challenge was -- well, quite a challenge! -- but I loved being able to rewrite my most-hated-of-all-time fairy tale.

    Loved your story, by the way!

    Here's my entry:

    The “Princess” and the Pete

    Late in the evening, in cold April showers
    A maiden on horseback approached Prince Pete’s towers
    “I hate to be forward,” she said, “but I’m beat!”
    “Would you have a place I could hide from this sleet?”

    Her warm, friendly smile...
    Her natural glow...
    Now here was a person Pete wanted to know!
    He asked her inside
    His mom piled the bed up
    To give her the test that had Pete truly fed up

    “This pea stuff!” Pete spluttered. “You’re always so pushy!”
    “Who cares if the girl has a sensitive tushy?!”

    But he knew that his mom glorified the elite
    So to marry this girl he might just have to cheat
    So just when his houseguest was washing her face
    He took out the pea...
    And put a squash in its place

    But next morning, weirdly, the girl simply said
    “I’m really enjoying this mile-high bed!”
    The queen looked annoyed. “Not a princess, I see.”
    The worried prince begged her for leniency.

    And later when evening was starting to fall
    He switched out the squash for his dad’s bowling ball

    But next day, more thank you’s!
    Our poor prince was shaken
    And knew that this night drastic steps must be taken

    So just as the girl said good night to the queen
    He lifted a mattress and squeezed in between
    And all through the night, hardly taking a breather
    He wiggled and wriggled and kicked underneath her.

    The prince felt her toss
    Heard her groan "What the heck?"
    In the morning he noticed her rubbing her neck
    Still, when asked by the queen if she’d had a good rest
    The girl simply beamed and said “It was the best!”

    Prince Pete was confounded. Confused! Mystified!
    He decided to fess up and ask if she’d lied.
    She looked disbelieving. “Of course! I’m a guest!
    When asked if I slept well I always say yes!”

    Prince Pete couldn’t help it; he asked for her hand
    She shook her head sadly, said “Please understand...”

    “Someday I might marry (right now I’m all set)
    But I’m not going to marry a guy I just met
    And even a girl who’d get hitched in a hurry
    Might find your MOTHER a real source of worry.

    But I could use a friend, and some laughs, and a talk
    So how about this... Let’s start with a walk?”

    ReplyDelete
  3. This_Kid_Reviews_Books_ErikMarch 20, 2014 at 7:24 AM

    That's a nice twist to this story! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hehehe! You are so funny Erik :) Thanks for singing! And I apologize that I was so tired last night I forgot the link list, but it's up now!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, wow, Jennifer! What a fabulous story! I love it! Such a clever twist, very funny, and how well done to have her stand up for herself and have some common sense! So glad you entered. Thanks for joining the contest fun! (And if you wanted to link to your blog and couldn't - my fault - I forgot the link list - so you can do it now!)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Loved your story, Susanna! And it's going to be so fun reading everyone's stories!

    Here's my attempt.

    Jack and the Giant

    Once upon a time, I lived happily with my wife, in a home high above the clouds. I passed the time collecting gold coins, playing my golden harp and taking care of my golden goose. I bothered no one. And no one bothered me.

    But one Spring morning all that changed when I noticed a beanstalk poking up through a hole in the ground. Curious, I walked over to it just as a boy climbed up through the hole.

    “Hi,” he said. “My name is Jack.”

    Now we don’t get many visitors up here, except the occasional dragon, so I was pleased to see the boy, small and smelly as he was. “Welcome, Jack,” I said. “I’m Giant.”

    My wife made him a fine meal. I showed him my collection of gold coins, played him my golden harp and let Jack feed my golden goose.

    He thanked me and went on his way. “Mum will worry if I’m not home by dark.”

    “What a considerate lad,” I told my wife.

    I didn’t notice my coins were missing until that night.

    The next day, Jack was back. “Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman,” I said. “What a brave boy you are to come back after you stole my coins.”

    “I didn’t steal your coins,” said Jack. But I will help you look for them.

    Which he did.

    That night, after he was gone, so was my golden harp.

    “Grrr!” I said. “That boy is a thief! He is banned from my home.”

    The next morning, I went to feed my goose. There was a smell in the air.
    Jack!

    “Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman!” I raced to the yard in time to see Jack running away with my goose tucked under his arm.

    “Stop!” I yelled.

    Jack slid down the beanstalk. I followed. Halfway down, the beanstalk
    swayed. I sprinted back up, jumping off, just before it crashed to the ground.

    Now Jack will tell you he cut down that beanstalk so I could not catch him.
    But the truth is, the beanstalk was not strong enough to hold a giant. It collapsed under my weight.

    Jack was right about one thing though. I could not catch him now.

    But then, Jack could not climb back up either. And that’s his loss.

    DidI tell you my wife spins gold?

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a great story, Susanna! You always write such terrific sample stories. Thanks for having these fun contests!

    ReplyDelete
  8. What a wonderful story! It's so fun and clever. I really like the ending. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  9. The contests are fun, aren't they? I just got to read the first entry - Jennifer's below - and it was so fun and I was filled with anticipation for all the others to come because everyone is always so amazingly creative and clever! :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wonderful, Pat! Jack and the Beanstalk from the Giant's POV - very clever! :) And I love the twist at the end! Great job! Thanks for joining in the madness :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Underneath her post were a bunch of tags and at the end it says 4 comments (or whatever number it's up to)...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks for your kind comments, Cheryl & Susanna!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks, Susanna! Found it! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thank You so much Cheryl! I'm trying to figure out my blog and how to make my comment tab more visible.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Maybe it's just me. Others seem to have found the comment link okay. lol. I posted my comment at your blog, too. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Susanna, the link for #5 doesn't seem to be working. (Unless it's just me. I seem to be having technical challenges today. lol.)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Mike Allegra writerMarch 20, 2014 at 9:35 AM

    Comin' this weekend! Woo!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hang on, let me check it. I hadn't seen past 3 yet :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wonderful. I like the twist and the POV!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thanks! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Congratulations. I love the girl's good manners! So glad you decided to participate.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hi Susanna. Thanks for the fun. You never cease to amaze me. I know you pulled that story off in a matter of days. My hero! (And I won't be able to get Glen Campbell out of my head today!)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Working on it - it's a tricky one - got an email out... fingers crossed :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. I LOVE this. Really great job!!

    Funny, well written, nice flow, AND it makes sense!! Of course anyone with good manners wouldn't complain about the bed!

    ReplyDelete
  25. The Belle and the Sticker Burrs



    Once upon a ranch, cattle king Jake
    and his wife Gracie sat horseback watching the sun set. Their ranch stretched
    for miles in every direction. Ranch life
    was good, but it could be lonely. They worried about their son Cody. He needed a wife.

    “She has to be fearless,” said
    Gracie.

    “She has to be tough,” said Jake.

    That night, lightning flashed as a
    gullywasher of a storm hit. Thunder
    almost drowned out the banging on the front door.

    “Good evening. My name is Belle. Do you think I could come in for a
    spell? My horse and I got lost and this
    storm is a might treacherous.”

    “Come on in and set by the fire,”
    said Cody.

    “I will get you some dry clothes,
    my dear,” said Gracie.

    “How about hot chocolate?” asked
    Jake.

    As the storm went on, Belle traded
    stories of lost calves and favorite hounds with her hosts. Jake and Gracie could see that Cody’s eyes
    sparkled when he looked at Belle. Maybe
    this was the girl for Cody. But they had
    to be sure. Jake went to the barn for
    supplies.

    If she was the one, she would have
    to pass their test. They filled the mattress with sticker burr hay. Only a true rancher’s wife could sleep in a
    mattress filled with sticker burrs. And
    just for good measure, they threw in some barbed wire and a coach whip
    snake. A blue patchwork quilt topped it
    off.

    “Hope you sleep well,” called Jake
    and Gracie as Belle headed for bed.

    Morning
    came and they all went to check on their guest.

    To their surprise, the snake was under the
    glass lampshade and Belle was cuddled under the quilt. Belle was not only asleep, but snoring loud
    enough to wake the cows.

    Gracie
    touched her on the shoulder. Belle woke
    with a smile and stretched.

    “I like
    my bed a little firmer, but I still managed a good night’s sleep. Can I help you cook up some breakfast?”

    Cody and his parents smiled. Belle was definitely the one.

    Sure enough, the next spring there
    was a big wedding on the ranch. Cody and Belle stuck together like burrs to a
    sweater ever after.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Alas, it was more like a matter of hours :) And I know what you mean about that song - it's totally stuck in my head :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Delightful, Angela! I love it! My favorite part is how they stuck together like burrs to a sweater :) And I love a story with a strong heroine :) I also love that you chose a wild west theme - great minds think alike :) Thanks so much for joining in the fun!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Thanks for the encouragement Susanna and thank you for putting on these contests. It was fun writing something, but it is even more fun reading all the submitted stories.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Wonderful story, Angela! I like the descriptive language and the western setting. And of course Belle would pass the test! Great job.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Great fun, Susanna! Where do you get these names from? I think I'll post tomorrow. Fun, fun, fun!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I'm so glad you enjoy it, Angela! I'm like you - I love having a reason to write something just for fun, but I love getting to read everyone else's even more! I'm always blown away by how creative and talented everyone is! :)

    ReplyDelete
  32. Gotta love Glen Campbell and cornpone. :) You are a delight, Susanna...and so is your fractured fairy tale!
    Mine is up...so happy to jump into this pool of crazy talented writers...I see a lot of possible books coming down the pike.:)
    Thanks so much for providing the platform, Susanna...you are the best!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Well, I just thought them up out of my silly head, Catherine :) I will look forward to your story!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Yeah, Glen Campbell and cornpone are not two things you'd think to see together, are they? :) Thanks for your kind words, Vivian, and I can't wait to read your story! This is so much fun, isn't it?! :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. I have never heard Cornpone and you had me reeling around laughing! Mine is half written.. phooey.

    ReplyDelete
  36. It's no Cornpone Cowboy, but it's something...

    NO SPRING CHICKEN LITTLE
    By Sean Lamb

    Once upon a cloudy time

    there lived a senile chicken.

    She waited for doom—

    a bang or boom from

    a time bomb that was tickin’.


    One day, she stuck her head outside.

    A raindrop plopped on her beak.

    “I’ve been hit! I’ve been hit!”

    She threw quite a fit.

    “We’re doomed!” She started to freak.


    Chicken Little took off like a shot.

    She had to inform the tall King.

    She ran through the street

    and pecked a quick tweet:

    “AAAHHH!!! #theskyisfalling”


    Henny Penny came out to inspect.

    She asked her friend, “What’s the matter?”

    “The sky’s falling down!

    We must warn the town

    before we’re turned into splatter!”


    The two frightened friends scampered off

    and ran into Ducky Lucky.

    He quacked, “What’s the rush?”

    “We’re gonna be mush

    unless we all warn King Clucky!”

    They covered their heads and bolted.

    Goosey Loosey honked as they passed.

    “Are you out for a walk?”


    “There’s no time to talk!

    Any second there could be a blast!”


    The four feathered friends flocked forward.

    Foxy Loxy stepped in their way.

    “Take cover! Look out!”

    they started to shout.

    Fox drooled at the birdie buffet.

    “You must help us out, Mr. Fox.”

    The crafty beast gazed at the storm.

    “You’re right. Come inside.

    I know where to hide.

    It’s quiet and safe and quite warm.”

    He led the four birds to his den

    and showed them their hiding place.

    “You’ll all be safe here.

    There’s nothing to fear.

    Don’t let the door hit your face.”


    Fox turned the knob to four hundred

    and set the clock to one hour.

    “Chicken for dinner.

    Fox, you’re a winner.

    I love a nice April shower.”


    Chicken Little learned her lesson.

    Which ends this little novella.

    You can learn something, too:

    When the sky isn’t blue,

    never forget your umbrella.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Thanks, Joanna :) And you can do it! You still have almost 5 days before the deadline! :)

    ReplyDelete
  38. OMG, Sean! So funny and clever! I love it :) Foxy didn't even have to work for that one :) I will watch out for senile chickens and try to remember my umbrella :) Thanks so much for joining in the springtime writing madness! :)

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hi Susanna, thanks again for hosting the contest! Here's my entry:

    Prince Frog

    Tad got his own pad when he was crowned prince of the pond.
    He caught so many flies, he couldn’t eat them all.
    Tad had a big stinky stockpile.
    The pile oozed slimy and grimy across the pond.
    Tad grew fat.
    The pond burbled while Tad burped.
    The common frogs hopped away to ponds and puddles that shone like mirrors.
    One day Blaze the dragonfly fluttered by. He circled, then said, “Clean this mess!”
    “ZIPPIT,” replied Tad.
    Blaze shivered his shimmery wings.
    Poof! A whiff of smoke.
    Tad sunk to the bottom of the pond.
    He swam back to the top.
    He was . . .
    A BOY!
    “Humans have warts!” Tad wailed.
    “When this mess is clean, you’ll once again be green,” Blaze said.
    Tad was hopping mad.
    But without four strong legs, there wasn’t much he could do.
    Flies started flitting. Tad tried to catch them, but human hands aren’t fast like a
    frog’s tongue.
    The flies tittered as they buzzed away.
    Tad sat with his head in his hands. For the first time he really regarded his realm.
    It was a murky and muddy, polluted pond.
    Hands weren’t helpful for hopping, but they were good for gripping
    So Tad bagged the dead bugs, skimmed off the slime and took away the trash.
    Under all the mess was a royal blue pond fit for a prince!
    The common frogs came home. They hopped around Tad’s feet. They were so happy to have a clean pond, they kissed him.
    Poof! A whiff of smoke.
    Tad was a frog once again.
    Tad hopped to his pad. He hung out a sign, “It’s good to be clean … and green.”

    ReplyDelete
  40. Love your maiden character and this fresh take! Just wish she had a name to remember her by! Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  41. What a terrific twist on The Frog Prince, Shelly! So entertaining! I think my favorite part was when he said, "ZIPPIT!" Hahaha! :) Lovely use of language throughout. Thanks so much for joining in the fun! Happy Spring! :)

    ReplyDelete
  42. I love that line too! Well done. And good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Sweet twist! Leaves me wishing I had a spell for my son to clean his room! Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  44. GREAT job Angela!! Us farm girls are tough chicks!


    "Stuck together like burrs on a sweater." I want to hang that over my bed!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Thanks so much! And thank you for running the contest. So much fun! All of these stories are awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Great flow. Fun story. And I LOVE the title!! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  47. Super cute. Loved this line: "Humans have warts!"

    ReplyDelete
  48. Love your rhyme scheme! Love what you did to tweak the original -so much more fun! Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Come on, Joanna! I haven't even started mine yet!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Really like your Giant, Pat, and his wife! Great twist of view- good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  51. They really are, aren't they? Everyone is so creative and talented!

    ReplyDelete
  52. Thanks Erika! Just read your story...great idea! Really enjoyed it!

    ReplyDelete
  53. Kirsten Peavy BockMarch 20, 2014 at 12:42 PM

    I am so glad that you had this contest because I am on a roll with three different fractured fairy tales! Anyway, here is my version for the contest:

    GOLDI AND RED

    Goldi and Red were the trickiest tricksters in FairyTale Forest.

    They dangled spiders above Miss Muffet’s head.

    They spread butter on Mr. Dumpty’s wall.

    And the old lady who lived in a shoe? They double knotted her laces!

    One morning, Goldi had an idea. Her locks bounced and flounced while she


    prepared her best trick ever.

    Over at the Hood house, Red had an idea too. Her jacket swooshed and


    whooshed while she prepared her best trick ever.

    That afternoon, Goldi received a letter:

    “Porridge Party at Papa Bear’s cottage. BYOS (bring your own spoon).”

    Goldi grabbed her golden scooper and flitted out the door.

    Red also received a letter:

    “Not feeling well. Please bring porridge. Staying with friends in Wolfie Woods.


    Love, Granny.”

    Red boiled a batch of “just right” porridge and charged out the door.

    Meanwhile, Goldi had just gotten to the Bear’s house. It was very quiet.

    Hello?” she whispered.

    No answer. Then she saw three heaping bowls of porridge.

    “It would be rude to let that delicious dish go cold,” thought Goldi. So she dug


    in. She didn’t even notice the shadows in the doorway.

    “GRRRRR.”

    Goldi spun around mid-swallow and discovered a trio of beastly bears.

    “What are you doing in our house?” growled the grizzlies.

    They chased Goldi over the river, through the woods, and halfway to morning.

    Over in Wolfie Woods, Red had just reached Granny’s.

    “Hello?” she bellowed.

    No answer. Then, she saw a lump in the bed.

    “It would be rude to wake my sick granny,” thought Red. So she dug in. She


    didn’t even notice the shadow in the doorway.

    “GRRRRR.”

    Red spun around mid-gulp and discovered one cantankerous canine.

    “What are you doing in my house?” howled the wolf. He chased Red over the


    river, through the woods, and halfway to noon.

    Red ran until the wolf huffed. She ran until the wolf puffed. She ran until...

    “Oof!” She smacked right into Goldi.

    Red looked at Goldi and Goldi looked at Red.

    “Wait a minute…,” they said together.

    “Did you…?”

    “Did you…?”

    Goldi and Red felt like a bowl of too-cold porridge, shivery and yukky.

    “No more tricks!” they promised, shaking hands. But each girl kept their


    crossed fingers out of sight.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Thanks Julie! Looking forward to seeing yours!

    ReplyDelete
  55. The Sweetie Witch

    A sweet old witch named
    Hilda

    Lived deep in Toffee Wood,

    Weaving magic, casting
    spells...

    Some bad, but mostly good.

    One day while dipping in a
    stream

    To catch a moonlight
    pearl,

    She heard a sob, and in a
    bush

    Was crouched a tearful
    girl.

    "I beg you Miss,
    don't eat me!"

    Pleaded little Gretel,

    "My bones are dry, my
    flesh is thin,

    My blood tastes yuck, like
    metal."

    Hilda laughed and shook
    her head,

    Though Gretel was
    suspicious.

    "Why would I eat you
    dear

    When my house tastes so
    delicious?"

    The witch led Gretel
    through the trees

    Into a fairy glade,

    And Gretel's eyes grew
    round as hoops

    At wonders there
    displayed.

    A cottage built from
    gingerbread

    And cake, instead of oak.

    Up from the chocolate
    chimney pot

    Rose cotton-candy smoke.

    Brightly colored lollipops

    In pots beside the door.

    Honeycomb for roof tiles,

    And sherbet on the floor.

    A table made from
    liquorice,

    With soft marshmallow
    chairs.

    A rug of woven
    apple-whips,

    And jelly-beans for
    stairs.

    "The best part's
    round the back, my dear,"

    Hilda trilled with glee,

    "My sweetie tree
    makes anything - look -

    I'm growing a muffin
    settee!"

    When Gretel saw she gave a
    gasp

    For on it her brother sat,

    His mouth crammed full of
    muffin crumbs,

    Stroking the witch's cat.

    "Hello there, my
    name's Hansel,"

    The foolish glutton said,

    "Could you get me
    some milk to wash this down?"

    Suddenly... the witch...
    saw RED!

    "Oh, greedy boy!"
    yelled Hilda,

    "You really are a
    hog!"

    With that she waved her
    candy wand

    And turned him to a frog.

    Poor Gretel started
    weeping,

    Which softened Hilda's
    heart,

    And she turned her to a
    frog too

    So they'd never be apart.

    Now Hansel and Gretel live
    happily

    In Hilda's little stream,

    Diving down for moonlight
    pearls

    And eating fly ice-cream.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Sorry about the formatting folks, it wasn't that long and thin on my computer screen - yikes!

    ReplyDelete
  57. So cute and clever, as usual, Susanna. Which is why I will look forward to more time in the summer/fall to take your course! I won't be joining you for the contest, but I will enjoy reading them.😊

    ReplyDelete
  58. Nice twist on Goldilocks, Connie! Lucky Chocolocks - found her mother and got the candy too :) Thanks so much for joining in the March Madness! :)

    ReplyDelete
  59. I really enjoyed this!

    ReplyDelete
  60. OK Susanna, I'm in! I'm sure glad we're not up against the Cornpone Cowboy... that was fabulous! And, yes I can sing along. What's a good cowboy story with out a campfire sing-along? Can't wait to start reading all the rest of the entries!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Thanks so much, everyone! So fun to see how different everyone's entries are. There are some awesome writers in this community!


    BTW, no blog here Susanna -- I'm a total newbie.

    ReplyDelete
  62. So much fun, Kirsten! What a pair of tricky tricksters! Love that they fooled each other! And love how they got chased "halfway to morning" and "halfway to noon" :) Great job! Thanks so much for joining in the fun!

    ReplyDelete
  63. This is delightful, Pen! What a wonderful job you did! I love all the candy descriptions - the whole house sounds delicious! And I love that Hansel and Gretel both became frogs. My favorite line (apart from the candy :)) was "diving down for moonlight pearls and eating fly ice cream" :) If the format is bothering you, you should be able to edit your post. Just go in and back space so the verses hang together properly. But I don't think anyone will care :)

    ReplyDelete
  64. So funny! And loved the hashtag!

    ReplyDelete
  65. Angela, what a wonderful twist on the Princess & Pea!

    ReplyDelete
  66. Thank-you so much for your kind words Susanna :) I really appreciate you hosting this competition as it's a great way to get creative juices flowing, and I love a challenge!

    ReplyDelete
  67. Thanks Pat! Loved your idea...clever perspective and a great ending. Really liked how you spun the story.

    ReplyDelete
  68. GReat job! I like the use of the variety of characters.
    "BYOS" had me ROLLING. I may put that on my next party invite, just to see what people do...

    ReplyDelete
  69. This is great! I LOVE that she turns Gretel into a frog too!!! It's lighthearted, sweet, funny and edgy all at once!

    ReplyDelete
  70. Nice job! Especially with the rhyming which is really hard to do! I love that's she's polite, but smart!

    ReplyDelete
  71. There is one that takes a long time, but seems like magic--they GROW UP :-)

    ReplyDelete
  72. I also love the way you combine fairy tales!

    ReplyDelete
  73. Just want to give a heads-up and apology to anyone I don't leave a comment for...I've started from #1 and will work my way down...as well as read the ones that are part of the comments. I'M SO EXCITED...THESE ARE GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN! HOWEVER...for those of you who have captcha enabled...if you don't see my comment, it is not because I didn't love your story, but because captcha doesn't love me.:) I am already unsure whether my comment was accepted by Cheryl's blog (#3)...if the comment doesn't post immediately and there is no message that it is being saved for moderation, how does one know? :)

    Okay...I am done whining...back to reading. :)

    ReplyDelete
  74. Karen Mae ZoccoliMarch 20, 2014 at 4:51 PM

    Hi Susanna, well I have never written a fractured fairy tale, but I gave it a try! Here is my spin on the tale of The Little Red Hen.....and I so enjoyed reading yours--nothing like a Cornpone Cowboy, lol!



    Little Red Hen's Shiny New Friend


    Little Red Hen wanted to make her delicious bread. She lived on a farm with her friends, but none of them would help.

    “Who will help me plant the seeds, to grow the wheat, to make the flour, to bake the bread?” asked Little Red Hen.

    Her friend dog rolled over, cat cleaned her paws, and duck waddled away.

    “Hmph!” she said, “I will do it myself.” That evening she had an idea.

    She waited until the farmer was fast asleep. Then she crept into the barn and climbed onto the big green tractor.

    “Rrrrrmmm” the motor roared, and out of the barn raced the Little Red Hen.

    “Weee!” she cackled, as into the fields she flew, spreading her seeds.

    Soon the wheat grew tall and golden.

    “Who will help me gather the wheat and bring it to the mill?” she asked.

    “We’re busy!” said her friends, as dog ran after cat, and cat chased after duck in a game of tag.

    “Never mind, then!” she said.

    She waited again for nightfall. Then into the barn she went and jumped up onto the farmer’s tractor.

    “Rrrrrmmm” the engine started, and off she sped, plowing through the fields, gathering the wheat. She drove to the mill where the wheat was turned into flour.

    The next day she asked her friends, “Will you help me bake the bread?”

    Dog was digging a hole. Cat watched the birds. Duck went for a swim. “Not now,” they said.

    “What was I thinking!” said Little Red Hen.

    She mixed and stirred and kneaded the dough. She patted it down and watched it rise. Finally, it was ready to bake.

    The smell of freshly baked bread drifted through the air and under the noses of her very lazy friends.

    “Who will help me eat this bread?” she said.

    “We will!” said the dog, the cat, and the duck.

    “Certainly not!” she said. “Not once did you help me. I will share my bread with my hen friends across the countryside.”

    “You can’t possibly carry all this bread,” laughed her friends. But later that evening a startling noise awoke them. A huge green monster with big eyes lurched torward them from the barn.

    “Run!” they cried.

    The shiny green tractor charged passed them with Little Red Hen at the wheel.

    “See you in the morning!” she waved, as she headed to the hills pulling her wagon full of bread.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Wow...so creative! Not what I expected at all when I saw the title. No princess and no smooching. Love the last line, too.

    ReplyDelete
  76. I made a mistake in the link. I gave it the wrong name! If you or I can't change the name of the link, I can certainly change the name of the story to match the link. If it doesn't matter to you, I can also just let it go. :)

    ReplyDelete
  77. Let me know if you manage to comment on #12 - it wouldn't let me even thought I tried 4 times :(

    ReplyDelete
  78. Hahaha! I love that Little Red Hen loves to drive the old John Deere :) Good for her, finding a way to manage all that work in spite of her lazy friends :) What a fun twist on the tale! You did a great job, Karen! :) Thanks for joining the fun :)

    ReplyDelete
  79. Lightning Charlie. Of course. I wonder why he wasn't made of chocolate......

    ReplyDelete
  80. Wow, Teresa, what a fun one! Kudos to you for working in characters from about 10 fairy tales and for getting St. Patrick's Day in there too! Well done! I love the image of all the other characters trying on Red's cloaks! :) Thanks so much for joining in the fun!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  81. I can change the link name. Which one is yours? I haven't gotten to it yet...

    ReplyDelete
  82. Chocolate would have melted in the hot wild west sun :)

    ReplyDelete
  83. The name of the link matches the name of your story - Jackie And The Beanstalk, right? But your blog post is titled Jackie And The Three Beans? I don't think that matters... but just let me know if you want me to do anything.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Thank you! :) I appreciate that!

    ReplyDelete
  85. Just commented on #12...it worked okay for me...sometimes it has to do with the browser you are using...or something. :)

    ReplyDelete
  86. Kirsten Peavy BockMarch 20, 2014 at 7:33 PM

    Thanks, Shelly!

    ReplyDelete
  87. Kirsten Peavy BockMarch 20, 2014 at 7:33 PM

    Thanks, Erika!

    ReplyDelete
  88. Kirsten Peavy BockMarch 20, 2014 at 7:34 PM

    Glad you liked it, Susanna!

    ReplyDelete
  89. OK thanks - I'll try again. My internet is barely functioning, today of all days!

    ReplyDelete
  90. ENTRY POSTED FOR ERIC

    A Sleeping Beauty

    The handsome Prince hacked his heroic way through thick thorn bushes thirty feet high en route to the Enchanted Castle. His Quest to awaken the sleeping Princess long held captive in the Wizard's Tower would soon be fulfilled. He swam the moat faster than a speeding arrow, he scaled the towering battlements in a single bound. He flung himself headlong through the stained glass window of the Princess's chamber, bounded to his feet, bent down over her recumbent form respectfully, and placed a whisper soft kiss on her seriously beautiful mouth. He murmured the counter spell to dissolve the evil enchantment that had been placed upon her by the Wizard so many years ago..."Arise, arise sleeping Princess, your Prince is here!"

    Fresh color flooded her deathly pale cheeks, her eyelids fluttered for a moment and then opened fully revealing her huge violet colored eyes. She gazed dreamily at the Prince and then sat bolt upright, staring at him with an indescribably mystical expression. She pointed a manicured forefinger at him and spoke in a cadence and inflection from a faraway Western land...

    "What the? Oh...my...God...Who are you and what have you done to my window? Seriously? Oh my God! Did you kiss me? Eeewwww! Did you use mouthwash this morning? Did you use hand sanitizer before you touched anything? Are you kidding me!"

    The Prince was taken aback. He replied huskily, "But Princess, you have been lying under an enchantment for 100 years! I have saved you!"

    The Princess glanced at her iPhone and said, "Dude, It's 2PM, I lay down for my afternoon power nap at 1:45..."

    Her gaze wandered out through the broken window and she gasped, "My Brazilian Sage Hedge! You hacked it with your sword? Oh my god! What is your problem?"

    The Prince looked puzzled, and said, "Wait a minute...did you say Sage?" I thought they were Evil Brambles...is this1283 Royal Road, Enchanted Castle...Wizard's Tower?"

    The Princess replied haughtily, "Duh...no! It's 1382 Regal Court!"

    The shocked Prince looked around and blurted out, "That stupid GPS has done it again! My bad, I'm totally sorry, seriously."

    The Princess looked carefully at him again and said, "Well, as long as you're here...ummm...would like a Cappuccino? I always have one after my
    nap."

    "Cool", said the Prince. "Those Brazilian Sage Bushes were tough..."

    ReplyDelete
  91. Hahaha! Very funny! As if you didn't already know, I love your sense of humor :) Thanks for joining in the fun! :)

    ReplyDelete
  92. You know Susanna, your entry is very good. I loved it!

    ReplyDelete
  93. So much to love about this story. Rhythm, voice, comedy, and a clever ending. Thank-you for posting it.

    ReplyDelete
  94. A holiday and a half-dozen fairy tale characters? Congratulations! Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  95. LOL Nothing runs like a . . . hen? Great twist!

    ReplyDelete
  96. Aw, Pat! You're so sweet. You know just what to say to make me feel less humiliated. Thank you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  97. Like Chocolocks, I can't resist a good chocolate egg. 'Can't go wrong with a chocolate story!

    ReplyDelete
  98. Lovely story with rollicking rhymes. Clever ending too.'Loved it!

    ReplyDelete
  99. How fun! Great way to spin the tales together and twist them in knots.:)

    ReplyDelete
  100. The way you turned this one on it's head made me laugh. Great!

    ReplyDelete
  101. This is too too too funny...great lines...and a super message as well...I'm glad our heroine didn't cave in and marry in haste. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  102. What a lovely story...and a unique twist on the Princess and the Pea...love the sticky burrs and the snake under the glass lamp...brave heroine...glad she got her man.:)

    ReplyDelete
  103. Erik...you had me going for a bit...and then I figured it out.:) So well done...a VERY modern take on an old classic. Love the GPS flub...it's true...they don't always get it right.:)

    ReplyDelete
  104. Karen Mae ZoccoliMarch 20, 2014 at 9:50 PM

    I love your take on the Prince and the Pea, so funny, especially when the prince himself crawls into the mattress! I laughed out loud :) And what a smart girl this fair maiden is ;)

    ReplyDelete
  105. Hi Erik, I loved the modern, high-tech twist, and the princess's high-tech attitude to match. Very fun!

    ReplyDelete
  106. Nice job pulling all these characters into one story! Very cool.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Oh those poor chickens, how naive they were! What a great twist (or turn?)

    ReplyDelete
  108. Love that cotton-candy smoke! Very visual descriptions and fun rhymes. I love the ending, turning them both to frogs, what a great surprise twist!

    ReplyDelete
  109. I love the name Chocolocks, and how sweet of Mother bunny to take such good care of her!

    ReplyDelete
  110. How did you do that, Teresa? You highlighted some of the most beloved fairy tales...and got it working in a fun story that kids would love.:) Great job!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  111. Thank you Karen for the kind remarks. I typed this story really quick this morning. We are leaving town tomorrow for the weekend and wanted to get something together for the contest. It really needs some polishing but I was in a hurry.

    ReplyDelete
  112. The Little Red Hen is one of my most favorite tales...and you've done a super job with fracturing it, Karen! I love your modern twist with the John Deere. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  113. Thanks for commenting on my story. It still needs some work but I was in a hurry. We are leaving town. Thanks again.

    ReplyDelete
  114. Love this story!!! Angela...what a great job you did. I thought I commented...but now I don't see the comment...but if there are two from me, the story is so good, you deserve them both.:)

    ReplyDelete
  115. Chocolocks was pretty lucky the bunnies were so forgiving. :) I'm glad she won't worry her mother again. What a cute story, Connie...I'd love to take a walk in that chocolate store...I'm sure Susanna would as well.:)

    ReplyDelete
  116. Thanks Susanna for your nice comments. I wish I had read over better before I sent to you. I see a couple of words that are incorrect but I guess it is too late to fix anything. I had fun typing the story this morning before I sent to you. Thanks for all you do.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Well, I am a total fan of all kinds of ice cream...but I'm not quite sure if fly ice cream would be to my liking. So glad that Hansel and Gretel will live happily ever after...very cute fractured fairy tale, Pen.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Oh my goodness...this is so clever...mashing up some of our favorites...and such a cute twist that they were trying to trick each other. Well done, Kirsten. :)

    ReplyDelete
  119. Shelly...this is awesome! Love that the frog becomes a little boy and then needs a kiss to turn back to a frog. Great lesson in environmental awareness as well. :) And 'Zippit' is genius!

    ReplyDelete
  120. Bravo, Sean! This is great...I loved the next to the last verse...so very clever.:) Funny, funny tale!

    ReplyDelete
  121. Thank you Vivian! I really appreciate the encouragement:-)

    ReplyDelete
  122. Thanks Sean. I'm glad I surprised you:-)

    ReplyDelete
  123. I love the Valley Girl talk! Great twists!

    ReplyDelete
  124. Oh boy, this was fun. I enjoyed Tad's dilemma in being human and especially your message. I'm thinking Tad and the dragonfly could have a talk with a few corporations. Again, thoroughly enjoyed your story.

    ReplyDelete
  125. OMG, You've done it again, Erik. This is a riot. I'm so glad you participated. I always look forward to what you bring to Susanna's contests and you surely delivered. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Okay, how long did you work on this? Getting all those tales into one story is magician's work. Oh and the way Red frustrates Rumpelstiltskin is too funny. I can tell you had fun with this story.

    ReplyDelete
  127. I had not tried a fractured fairy tale before, but I must say it was fun. I'm afraid that mine took a gruesome twist.

    Little Dead Riding Hood

    Mr. Wolf was napping when he felt the first bite.

    He fled up a tree.

    “What are you doing?” he yelped.

    Little Dead stared at him with her big glassy eyes. Her mouth gaped open. Her pointy teeth gnashed up and down. Her breath smelled sour and sort of moldy. She moved closer. Mr. Wolf climbed higher.

    “If you’re looking for Granny, she lives over that way.”

    Mr. Wolf pointed. He watched Little Dead stumble down the path. Her right leg fell off. She stooped to pick it up. Somehow, she stuck it back on.

    Mr.Wolf tugged at his whiskers.

    He took the short cut and arrived at Granny’s house ahead of Little Dead.

    “Granny,Little Dead is on her way, and there is something really odd about her.”

    Granny nodded.

    Mr. Wolf sniffed. “Fried chicken?”

    “Help yourself. I’ve got to go.” Granny pulled on her cloak and rushed out.

    When he heard Little Dead stumbling on the porch, Mr. Wolf hid in Granny’s bed,under the covers. The bed was soft and warm, but Mr. Wolf lay stiff. He pulled Granny’s night cap over his ears. He pulled Granny’s pillow over his head. He tried to be invisible.

    “Granny, It’s me.”

    Little Dead grabbed the pillow. “Granny?”

    “My,what a deep voice you have, my dear,” said Mr. Wolf, scooching back a bit.

    “The better to great you with,” said Little Dead, coming closer.

    “My,what big eyes you have, my dear.” said Mr. Wolf, scooching back a bit more.

    “The better to see you with,” said Little Dead coming closer, and closer.

    “My,what big teeth you have, my dear,” said Mr. Wolf, scooching WAY BACK!

    “The better to eat you with,” said Little Dead and she dove for Mr. Wolf.

    Mr. Wolf howled and fell out of the bed.

    BANG! BANG! BANG!

    “Tis I the huntsman come to save you, Granny.”

    Little Dead turned her pointy teeth towards the huntsman.

    “Yikes! Little Red you’re looking a Little Dead! You’re a zombie!”

    Little Dead chased the wolf and the huntsman, but her right leg fell off again. They got clean away.

    She re-attached her leg and hobbled back into the woods.

    “Any luck?” asked DeadliLocks.

    Little Dead shook her head. “They were too quick for me.”

    Deadlilocks yanked on her matted gold hair. “Come with me. I know where three bears live.”

    ReplyDelete
  128. I love your frog / prince switch in this, Shelly, you made me laugh, and you even managed to fit in an "environmental clean-up" lesson!

    ReplyDelete
  129. I love your fun language style, Angela, and the funny take on an old story that usually makes us girls look weak and pathetic! I think you've got all of us chuckling with the "burrs to a sweater" phrase!

    ReplyDelete
  130. Wow, very clever and scary! Loved the way you also brought in DeadliLocks at the end!

    ReplyDelete
  131. You had me singing "Cornpone Cowboy" to myself merrily with this, Susanna. Loved your funny western twist on the tale, especially the "Why does everyone insist on calling me that" plea!

    If this is supposed to be a bad example to encourage the rest of us, though, it is much too good, and therefore failed badly on that front!

    ReplyDelete
  132. Very imaginative, love it! Dead's leg falling off was hilarious :D

    ReplyDelete
  133. Yes, I personally prefer tutti-frutti! Thank you for reading and commenting Vivian :)

    ReplyDelete
  134. Spelling guys! This entry is not Erik's! He posted his this morning on his own blog. This entry is my husband, Eric's! :)

    ReplyDelete
  135. You're welcome, Connie! I'm glad you joined in! :) And I will fix it for you if I can :)

    ReplyDelete
  136. I'm glad you enjoyed it, Melinda! And I'm so glad you joined in the contest - your entry was tons of fun! :)

    ReplyDelete
  137. This is ingenious, Katie! For someone who hasn't tried a fractured fairy tale before you sure did an excellent job! The story hangs together well, it's entertaining and funny (also a little scary and gruesome :)) and the twist at the end was fantastic! Well done! I'm so glad you joined in the writing madness! :)

    ReplyDelete
  138. Oops, I accidentally submitted mine twice - thought it didn't work the first time. And it's come up with the link and not the title of my story. It's been a while! The title is Handsome and Gretchin. I also wanted to comment on Little Dead Riding Hood - hilarious. Loved the ending with Deadlilocks too.

    ReplyDelete
  139. No worries, Rachel - I'll see if I can fix it. Can't wait to read it - great title! :)

    ReplyDelete
  140. Loved this modern day version of the Little Red Hen - nice job!

    ReplyDelete
  141. I don't have a blog, so here's my fractured fairy tale poem:

    JACK AND THE BEANSTALK

    A mother and her little boy lived once upon a time
    in poverty conditions. They had nothing. Only grime.
    They had to find a way to eat. The question, though, was how.
    There was no meat upon the bones of their malnourished cow.

    One day the mother told the boy, "Jack, go into town
    and sell the cow. I'm sure it's worth, at minimum, a crown."
    But Jack decided he would sell the cow for just one bean.
    His mother, when she learned of this, said something quite obscene.

    The bean had magic properties and sprouted to the sky,
    and Jack climbed to the top and heard a giant say "fee fie."
    The giant started chasing Jack while chanting words in rhyme,
    the gist of which was he had plans for Jack come dinnertime.

    He picked up Jack in one big fist, but Jack somehow squirmed loose,
    and as he ran away he swiped the giant's magic goose.
    Now Jack and mom are rich from all the gold eggs it is laying.
    But mom still punished Jack. She said, "I can't stand disobeying."



    --Robert Schechter

    ReplyDelete
  142. Funny that he still got punished for disobeying! Nice job with the rhyme scheme!

    ReplyDelete
  143. Ha! Love deadlilocks! Way to tap into the zombie craze:-)

    ReplyDelete
  144. I love the way you tied in St. Paddy's. And you worked well with a whole host of characters:-)

    ReplyDelete
  145. Very cleverly done, Robert! Excellent rhyme and meter, and I love the ending - poor Jack! :) Thanks so much for joining in our mad fairy tale fun! :)

    ReplyDelete
  146. Ha ha, Susanna. Your story was wonderful. All the best to all who've entered your fabulous contest. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  147. Thanks, Tracy - you're too kind :) I hope you'll get a chance to hop around and read - so many fabulous entries!

    ReplyDelete
  148. Kirsten Peavy BockMarch 21, 2014 at 1:45 PM

    Thanks so much, Vivian!

    ReplyDelete
  149. Kirsten Peavy BockMarch 21, 2014 at 1:45 PM

    Thanks, Joanne!

    ReplyDelete
  150. I'm not a fan of zombies, but I do love the last line. You made me laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  151. I love the Cornpone Cowboy. And I'm not just saying that to butter up the hostess. Get it? Cornpone? Butter up? (Um, sorry. I should probably stick to the fairy tales.) :-)

    ReplyDelete
  152. Hahaha! That makes me thing you ARE trying to butter me up, Cathy :)

    ReplyDelete
  153. Nata ArtistaDonnaMarch 21, 2014 at 5:22 PM

    hilarious!!! LOVED IT! me and daughter laughed and laughed!

    ReplyDelete
  154. What a very entertaining and original twist on the 3 Little Pigs, Lisa! I love that the wolf has allergies :) And that the dog had such a strong sneeze it could blow down a brick sukkah! Oye Vey! :) Thanks so much for joining in the fun!!!

    ReplyDelete
  155. Great twist! A cute reason the "houses" keep getting blown down:-)

    ReplyDelete
  156. I love this, I am so pleased that the happy ever after instant fix by marriage is losing its grip on stories. :)

    ReplyDelete
  157. it certainly is good to be clean and green and I really like the turn about in your story. So glad Tad managed to clean his pond

    ReplyDelete
  158. laughing here

    ReplyDelete
  159. Wow what a dog! He should have his own story. Super duper dog. I grinned from ear to ear reading this story.
    Poor Rabbi Wolfberg and his allergies . The cat makes me chuckle just for being there. Stan, Dan, and Jan Boarman are very accomodating and I get to learn two new words Sukkah and sukko. The day cannot get better. :)

    ReplyDelete
  160. I love it when a rhyme rhymes well. I have a bit of trouble with a mother who punished for disobeying but not breaking and entering(the giants lair) and stealing ....chuckle great story.

    ReplyDelete
  161. as fractured fairy tales goes this one pulls the other leg. Zombies-. fabulous. I wish I could share this one with my horror con friends they would love it. I am grining and chuckling and grinning more. I love the interaction between Goldi and Red and the visuals of poor wolfie 'scooching back' and Red's leg dropping off is brilliant. I did wonder where granny disappeared to or is she in disguise as the huntsman in a zorro-esque twist?

    ReplyDelete
  162. I have been laughing too hard to type. I could hear the music, I really could. The epic crescendo as his feet smashed through the glass. Still laughing got to go wipe my eyes. Perfect, like seriously, perfect

    ReplyDelete
  163. I am so glad to finally see this story in its entirety :)

    ReplyDelete
  164. Good on the little red Hen and the shiny green tractor. Farmer must have been deaf as a post to sleep through that roaring. :)

    ReplyDelete
  165. Chocolate is always a winner. Cute kid, cute bunnies and chocolate, what else could anyone want in a story. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  166. I really really like this ending. Much better than frying an old witch alive.

    ReplyDelete
  167. wicked wicked girls. Wolves, Bears, porridge and grannies you've filled up every nook and cranny in your twisted fairy tail. well done :)

    ReplyDelete
  168. Poultry Roast. mmmm mmmm

    ReplyDelete
  169. I never did like Jack and his thieving murderous ways. good to hear the story from the giant's point of view.

    ReplyDelete
  170. Susanna, I think your Cornpone Cowboy is awfully cute. (I was humming!) There are many, many clever stories. What great imaginations! Thanks for posting these (and thanks for helping with my bone-headed problem this morning.)

    ReplyDelete
  171. Woweee! You did it: you wrote another fine example that no one else can beat, Susanna! :D

    Looks like a goodly number of folks have entered...though I won't number among the goodly this time around. :)

    Best of luck to everyone!

    ReplyDelete
  172. Jackie WellingtonMarch 21, 2014 at 9:13 PM

    Achoo! I am not allergic to this story. This is for dramatic effect. :D I loved this story. Good job, Lisa.

    ReplyDelete
  173. Well we need loyal readers too, Teresa, to celebrate everyone's hard work, so there's no shame in sitting this one out :) There are so many excellent stories - it's really fun! :)

    ReplyDelete
  174. I know, aren't all the stories great?! It's such a treat to read them all! And there's still time to enter if you feel inspired, Rosi... :)

    ReplyDelete
  175. Anne Cavanaugh SawanMarch 21, 2014 at 10:51 PM

    GO OUTSIDE THREE LITTLE PIGS

    Once upon a time there were three little pigs.

    Three lazy pigs that just sat around all day and did nothing but play video games.

    Until one sunny day when Mama Pig decided she couldn’t take it anymore.

    “That’s it!” She said, pointing to the door. “I have had enough! Go. Out. SIDE!”

    “What?” said the First Pig.

    “You want us to go out… there?” said the Second Pig.

    “But, there’s never anything to do outside,” complained the Third Pig.

    Mama Pig threw open the door.

    “Havean adventure! Use your imagination! Just go outside, NOW!”

    So the three miserable, lazy pigs went outside.

    “It’s sooo hot out here,” moaned the First Pig.

    “I’m sooo bored,” whined the Second

    “I want to go back inside,” cried the Third.

    A dark shadow crept slowly along the fence.

    “Little pig, little pigs, let me in,” whispered a gravely voice.

    “The wolf! Mom!” The three pigs banged on the door.

    “Go away,” said Mama Pig from inside the house.

    The three pigs stared at one another.

    “Quick!” said Pig Number One. “To the straw pile!”

    The three pigs ran across the lawn and burrowed their way into the middle of the straw.

    “Ha!” laughed the Wolf. “Do you really think that measly house made of hay is going to keep me away? I am going to huff and puff…”

    The three pigs burrowed as fast as they could through the back of the straw pile.

    “To the tree house!” yelled the Second Pig.

    The three pigs clambered up the ladder to the tree house and slammed the door shut.

    Snap!

    A branch snapped, and then another, and another.

    Snap!
    Snap!

    Suddenly through the window came the wolf’s furry head, his red, beady eyes and his pointed teeth.

    “Really, a house made of sticks?” He snarled.

    The three pigs quickly threw themselves out of the house, landing one by one with a thud on the dirt below.

    “Over there! Behind that brick wall!” yelled Pig Number Three.

    Thethree pigs scampered behind the wall but they knew it was no use;

    shiny,sharp claws crept over the rocks…

    “Help! We’re doomed!” They cried.

    “Pigs!Oh, Pigs, time for din-ner!” Yelled Mama Pig.

    “Awww,shoot.” said Pig Number One.

    “Already?” Said Pig Number Two

    “HeyWolf, maybe we can play again tomorrow?” Said Pig Number Three.

    “Sure,”said Wolf. “That was great! See you tomorrow pigs!”

    ReplyDelete
  176. whooooooo hoooooo great twist, love the pace and the tension.

    ReplyDelete
  177. Yes, I've always thought witches got a bum deal in fairy tales ;) Thanks Cecilia!

    ReplyDelete
  178. I really enjoyed this take on a classic... You really brought it to life and I loved that the princess was kind but not weak- minded. Excellent job!

    ReplyDelete
  179. Love this twist on the 3 Pigs, Anne! Great that Mom wanted them off their hineys and outdoors, and that they discovered (as all kids tend to do) that playing outdoors is fun! Fun, kid-friendly spin on the original. Great job! Thanks for joining in the Madness :)

    ReplyDelete

I love to hear from you and try to respond to every comment. Please share your thoughts!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...