Hello everyone! I'm so glad to see you all! I feel like I've been out of touch for ages. I apologize to all the awesome bloggers I usually follow for missing what I'm sure have been brilliant posts this week. I will do my best to catch up, but there's nothing like being disconnected from the internet for 4 days to make you realize how fast you can get totally backlogged! And right at the beginning of PiBoIdMo, too!
I'm so behind I don't know if there's any hope of catching up, but if you'll all indulge me (and the wonderful writers who have taken the time to send in their pitches and write stories for the Halloweensie contest) by reading a couple extra posts too close together, I'm hoping to get Would You Read It up today, as well as the proper Halloweensie post, and the Pitch Pick for October up tomorrow, but I'll be playing catch up for a while.
Before we start, though, I will share a couple pictures of our Halloween Wonderland.
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| It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... except for all the leaves... and the fact that it's October :) |
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| That thing in the trampoline used to be our apple tree which we planted as a mere sprout when we first moved here 18 years ago :( |
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| Luckily the girls love a good romp in the snow :) This was a shallow spot - I didn't have the camera out when they were over their backs in the white stuff! |
Now, then. Onward!
Today's post comes to us from the prolific Christie, whose MG novel was pitched last month. This time she's sharing a picture book pitch:
Working Title: The Tooth Fairy Star
Age/Genre: Picture Book
The Pitch: Tiffany Faye loves being the tooth fairy, but when all the other fairies complain about her terrible dancing, she has to find a way to dance without being clumsy or else give up her job as the tooth fairy.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Christie improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.
Christie is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!
Please be kind enough to check back and read the Halloweensie Contest post which I will get up ASAP for all the wonderful writers who posted stories! Thank you all for your patience and good will :)
Yes. I would read it with my kids. I felt it had a reasonable conflict for younger audiences and sounded fun.
ReplyDeleteYes: Not sure you need "terrible" before dancing, because later you say it's "clumsy."
ReplyDeleteAll that snow! Crazy. Enzo and I read April Fool, Phyllis yesterday during our little snow event here in Colorado. Enjoyed it.
Yay! You're back! look at that snow, wow!
ReplyDeleteYes for me too. You don't explain why tooth fairies have to dance in the first place. With such a big emphasis on the dancing I think a little cha, cha, intro would be good. Like it!
If you're putting up your Halloweensie tomorrow, shall we scrap Foto Friday this week? I can't remember what the theme is anyway.
Randy, Stacy and Catherine - thank you for your comments for Christie.
ReplyDeleteStacy - I'm so glad you and Enzo enjoyed April Fool, Phyllis! Thank you for telling me :)
Catherine - we don't have a theme yet for this week, and it's a bit late at this point :) Any ideas?
I vote "yes" I would read it. I like the conflict present in the "but" part. However I agree with the above comment that I don't know why a tooth fairy has to dance in the first place. If you could say why she has to dance the conflict may be made a bit clearer.
ReplyDeleteYay! Susanna's back! We only had four and a half inches. It's weird with the leaves isn't it?
Wow, you really did get snowed in -- thought of October Fools Day. Glad you're back.
ReplyDeleteThe pitch: Like the idea and I would read the story. But my first thought was "I didn't know tooth fairies had to dance?" It made me pause. It does make me want to read on. Wondered if the tooth fairies are little girls in a dance recital.
I agree with clarbojahn, above. I would read it, too (I love your tooth fairy's name!), but I need some sort of a connection between being the tooth fairy and needing to dance well. Thanks for sharing your pitch!
ReplyDeleteSusanna~ we got dumped on too. I love the snow...but I hate scraping my car.
We got lots of snow too and it's so lovely! Nothing like the magic of the first snow.
ReplyDeleteI won't comment on Christie's pitch because I'm one of her CPs and know the story.
MAYBE: This sounds cute, but its the kind of story i feel like I've read before. If i picked it up it would probably depend on the quality of the artwork. (I imagine that isn't terribly hekpful here, sorry)
ReplyDeleteAll that snow looks great but talk about a freak storm. Glad you're back and working your way to the surface.
ReplyDeleteI would read it to my kid, or rather let her read it to me. I agree with the commentors on bringing in the significance of dancing. Does it do something to the fairy powers? Is that why her clumsiness will force her to stop being the tooth fairy? I'm rooting (get it?) for the tooth fairy because I'd hate for two left feet to mess up her great thing.
Maybe. Even though your pitch does a good job of giving the story problem, I got thrown by the idea of the tooth fairy needing to dance.
ReplyDeleteI'm also not sure about the connection between dancing and being a tooth fairy, but it is an intriguing possibility, and if you were to allude to it, I think you'd have an even-more attention-grabbing pitch.
ReplyDeleteAnd, oh my goodness, am I glad my husband and I are back in California! I grew up in the Midwest for the first half of my non-adult life, and the only way I got through it was because I didn't know there were warm places to live during the winter. :) I'm glad you have your power back; it's crazy how addicted we've become to it.
Michelle - I know! Ain't that the truth! Give me hot water, central heating, internet service any day :)
ReplyDeleteClar and Patricia - you are lovely to welcome me back - thank you :)
ReplyDeleteJess - thank goodness - for once my car was in the garage!
Julie - normally I love the magic of first snow but this was so much so fast so early that it caught me off guard!
Aimee - of course you are helpful :)
Angela - glad to be back!
Andrea - thanks for your input!
Finally coming up for air after getting the kids back in school. The snow here is just about gone, but the trees are what's really causing a problem. Ok, enough of that!
ReplyDeleteFor the pitch- I'd say maybe. I love the idea of a story about the Tooth Fairy (she doesn't get enough play and in our house sometimes forgets to come at all) but I am not sure of where or how the importance of dancing plays such a strong role in the story. Perhaps if the Tooth Fairy was almost caught for not being quiet enough that might create a more plausible situation of jeopardizing her job. However, I will say that the pitch itself does a great job of outlining the story and that alone is an accomplishment!
Maybe but I don't find a toothfairy dancing as something I'd expect. Now if she forgot how to whisper or was clumsy and left a shoe under the pillow, I'd be more interested.
ReplyDeletePerhaps she could have trouble because she forgets how to tiptoe and dances instead! That would lead to conflict and fun.
Good luck with your ideas.
Tracy and Jane - thanks for your feedback for Christie!
ReplyDeleteHey, everyone! Thanks so much for your feedback. I'll definitely cut the word 'terrible.' How about this revision:
ReplyDeleteMore than being the toothfairy, Tiffany Faye loves to dance, but when the other fairies complain about her dancing they try to force her to quit dancing unless she can get her clumsiness under control.