Now, just quickly before we get to this week's pitch, I have to show you something fun that our friend, Jenny, posted on my FB wall yesterday:
Okay! Are you ready for the pitch? Here it comes!
Basking in today's Would You Read It spotlight is Aimee, a Portland, Oregon girl currently living in New Zealand. She has a great blog at Seeking The Write Life. Here is her pitch:
TITLE: Listen to Me
GENRE: YA Contemporary with a dash of Magical Realism (target age 13-17, but I hope for crossover appeal)
PITCH: Stacy can talk to herself-in-twelve-years - but will the impossible relationship with Older Me help her navigate the high school rites of bullying and unrequited love, or just fuel her destructive self-loathing?
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Aimee improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.
Aimee is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!
And I am looking forward to a chocolate-covered chocolate donut with a glass of chocolate milk :)
Yes! This sounds great~ full of potential for tension and humor~the perfect mix :)
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of the perfect mix, Susanna, Pringles and chocolate milk do NOT go in that category...ewwwww :)
Oh, Jess! I agree! But your comment made me laugh :)
ReplyDeleteYes, most definitely yes! What a fascinating concept as it is easy to assume our older, future self would be 'better' and 'helpful,' but this pitch shows a twist on that assumption!! I love this pitch, because it is concise yet portrays dimensions of interesting ideas!! Perfect :)
ReplyDeleteI like the premise. The older me bit makes me want to read it.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone! I'm really encouraged that you all think it's a worthwhile premise.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks to Susanna for such a great forum to throw our work out for feedback!
-Aimee
MAYBE.
ReplyDeleteThe premise is great! But I had to read it twice with the "herself-in-twelve-years" phrase, and then I started wondering how old she was. I'm not sure how it could be rephrased...maybe something like "can talk to her twenty-six-year-old self, even though she's still in high school." Just a thought. This sounds like a great story, though - you've got a very intriguing premise with conflict and consequences. I want to read it! :)
Yes, I would read this because I like magic realism, and I feel like this situation is very relatable in the sense that many people would want this opportunity, or have at least thought about it. I was a bit confused by the "herself-in-twelve-years" part-- took me a second to understand what she meant, but then I really liked it. :)
ReplyDeleteYes. It'd be interesting to see how the whole 'if I knew then what I know now' thing works out for Stacy. Likey!
ReplyDeleteYes, I would read this. I love the idea of talking to an older version of myself (esp. if I could somehow talk to my teenaged self now). though i do agree with the part about the older version of herself; that line is a bit confusing.
ReplyDeleteLove the clock. :D
ReplyDeleteSounds like an interesting premise, but I'll admit I found the logline confusing. Plus I don't believe they are supposed to be posed as a question. I only know this since I've been slaving away on mine and have read a lot of info on writing loglines. ;)
Thanks everyone!
ReplyDeleteMelody, Katheryn, Stina - You're right about that line. It was tough to figure out how to phrase it and obviously I need to do more work on it. Thanks for the heads up, I'll give it some more thought!
This is a great premise, but have to admit I agree with the others that the first bit needs to be clearer. Also think that this is really accessible to your readers because even though it's magic realism it covers issues that anyone can relate to from their high school experiences. Good luck with it:)
ReplyDeleteJess, Kim, Randy, Melody, Kathryn, Natasha, Erin, Stina, and Dee - thank you all so much for your helpful comments to Aimee!
ReplyDeleteAimee - thank YOU for participating :)
Stina - glad you like the clock!
Did someone mention chocolate? :D
ReplyDelete-------
Join me at the Rule of Three Writers' Blogfest!
Yes, I would read this, but I want to know what she faces - boyfriends, careers, death? I am curious.
ReplyDeleteDark Chocolate with Sea Salt and Almonds! Yum!
ReplyDeleteI'm leaning towards a maybe. I'm still not hooked perhaps if I got a taste of some kind of trouble she is having??
Yes, I am definitely interested in this book. I love the thought of older me helping high school me. I agree with the other comments above, the tagline is confusing and would be better if it was clearer.
ReplyDeleteLove your clock! I would love it in my space. Can I have it?
ReplyDeleteYes, I would read it. It could work as a movie, too. It could use some revision, I agree. If you're going to dream, dream big!
ReplyDeleteCocoa in my coffee, as it's coffee day and all of the other chocolate has already been eaten.
A very fun premise, but I agree the wording could be more clear. I also read the first sentence three times to be sure what it meant. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I LOVE the clock!
I have to say, some of the commentators are excellent at deciphering.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading through the comments and gaining understanding about the "herself-in-twelve-years," I would read this.
Maybe: Stacy talks to herself. Well, the woman she'll be twelve years in the future, that is.
Damyanti, Ms. Saba and Jenny - glad to see you are paying such close attention to the official snack :)
ReplyDeleteClar and Carla - I know! How fun is that clock?!
Phyllis, Ms. Saba, Clar, Jenny and Carla - thanks for your thoughts on the pitch!
Thank you, Reena!
ReplyDeleteHow about pumpkin bread with chocolate chips? not quite a donut, but definitely chocolate infused and great for breakfast with coffee. Maybe just for the month of October????
ReplyDeleteAs for the pitch, I'm a maybe. I love the idea- there as so many things I would have loved to have been able to tell my younger self- but I also got lost on the herself-in-twelve-years phrase and had to read it twice. Does the older self talk back or does Stacey feel frustration in a one-way conversation? Does that fuel the negative thoughts? Does Stacey find comfort in confiding in her older self? is her older self sympathetic, empathetic, or inspirational? I think some of the depth of both characters should be included in the pitch to really draw the reader in quickly. Magical realism is one of my absolute favorite genres- I hope this works out for you!
Gosh, you're all so helpful, thank you!
ReplyDeleteIt's a challenge with a one-sentence pitch to get across all that you're wanting to know, but you're giving me awesome fodder for the slightly longer version (not to mention the kick in the pants re the phrasing on this one-sentence tag).
Thank you so much, everyone. This kind of 'promo' material is NOT my forte, so your advice is gold.
-Aimee
I would definitely be interested, though I'm not sure it sounds like my type of book. It does sound like something that I might recommend to my younger siblings.
ReplyDeleteI like that it combines (or sounds as if it does) the ability to "see" yourself when your older and see if you actually like yourself then (is your older self someone that you really want to take advice from) with talking to your younger self whom at that point in your life you probably think is just a stupid kid. I can't imagine getting along with myself at any age.
I'll have to go with "maybe," because I'm not sure what the story really is about. But I'm a sucker for time travel and the recesses of the human mind, so you had me hooked with those premises.
ReplyDeleteI would definitely read this, Aimee. It sounds like a great concept. I agree with the others about the confusing part - I had to re-read it myself - but I think you're onto a winner here. :-)
ReplyDeleteA2Z Mommy - I LOVE pumpkin bread! Never tried it with chocolate chips but it sure sounds good :)
ReplyDeleteAshley - thanks for your thoughts! And for visiting :)
Michelle and Cally - thanks for commenting!
I'd definitely read on! Great pitch, and great premise.
ReplyDeleteI do have to agree with Melody about reading it twice before understanding the "herself in 12 years" part.
Best of luck with this! It really sounds fun. :)
I would read it, but like some of the other comments, I had to read the pitch a couple of times to really understand what was being said. Maybe break it into two short sentences to make it a little clearer. But the premise is neat.
ReplyDelete