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March 24, 2011

The Second Challenge

So I'll probably be the last one to post for the Second Crusader Challenge, but better late than never, right?

This time, the challenge is to write a flash fiction story of 100 words or less beginning with, "The goldfish bowl teetered..."  For an extra challenge, you can try to write in your own genre.  You know me.  I love a challenge...


The goldfish bowl teetered in the basket of Jessie's bike.
"Be careful!" said Jenny.  "Without the fish, the deal is off!"
Jessie pedaled more carefully.  Jenny trotted alongside, hauling the red wagon, ready to grab the fish if it fell.
When they reached Bryan's house he looked the fish over and nodded in satisfaction.  "It's a deal," he said.
Jenny handed over the handle of the red wagon.  "Bye, Joey," said Jessie and Jenny.  "Remember," they told Bryan, "no backsies!"
So easy!  All it took to get rid of their pesky baby brother was a single goldfish!

97 words!  Not bad for the Queen of Longwindedness!  Anybody else want to try?

P.S.  A set of my books, inscribed to the winner's specifications, will be available for bidding on Write Hope tomorrow.  Please spread the word and bid if you can.  It's such an important cause.

UPDATED LINK FOR THE AUCTION!!!  Susanna's Books on Write Hope
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24 comments:

  1. Summer RossMarch 24, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    Wonderful little story- I like the no backsies lol

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  2. jkraus8464March 24, 2011 at 9:35 PM

    Hah. I love it. CUte cute cute! I am an elementary school teacher so I love it.

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  3. Crystal CollierMarch 24, 2011 at 9:39 PM

    Terrible...and cute. =)

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  4. Susanna Leonard HillMarch 24, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    Thank you Summer, Jeanne, and Crystal (and BTW Crystal, I am now following your blog.) 100 words isn't much to work with :)

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  5. TrishaMarch 24, 2011 at 10:14 PM

    I'm kind of wondering how they're getting rid of him permanently - or is it just a temporary thing? :P

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  6. Sierra GardnerMarch 25, 2011 at 12:57 AM

    This is a great piece of flash fiction. I love the voice(s) here - they feel authentic and young!

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  7. Amanda MilnerMarch 25, 2011 at 2:46 AM

    Cute! And...disturbing? Lol! Oh, and thank you for your donations to Write Hope!!

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  8. alberta rossMarch 25, 2011 at 5:18 AM

    well done - that was an original - (seriously hope mum and dad get the baby back!!!)

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  9. Cally JacksonMarch 25, 2011 at 5:50 AM

    Those mean sisters! Loved it, great job! :-)

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  10. Susanna Leonard HillMarch 25, 2011 at 6:56 AM

    Trisha - like I said, 100 words isn't much. I have a feeling this story isn't really over yet :)

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  11. Susanna Leonard HillMarch 25, 2011 at 7:04 AM

    And thanks Sierra, Amanda, Alberta and Cally for taking the time to read and comment - I'm glad if it amused. I'm looking forward to reading any of yours that are posted that I haven't gotten to!

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  12. Cherie ReichMarch 25, 2011 at 10:14 AM

    The last line made me laugh. :)

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  13. Carol RiggsMarch 25, 2011 at 11:08 AM

    LOL, nice original slant on this Challenge! Good job. :) Humorous, to trade away their brother.

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  14. Witless ExpositionMarch 25, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    Love the line "no backsies." Good job!

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  15. Susanna Leonard HillMarch 25, 2011 at 3:39 PM

    Thanks, Cherie, Carol and "Witless"!

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  16. AdrianaMarch 26, 2011 at 7:36 AM

    Wonderful, quite delightful!

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  17. Susanna Leonard HillMarch 26, 2011 at 7:46 AM

    So glad you liked it, Adriana!

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  18. Alison MillerMarch 26, 2011 at 4:24 PM

    This was too cute! And funny! Great job!

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  19. Susanna Leonard HillMarch 26, 2011 at 4:35 PM

    Thanks, Alison!

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  20. Deniz BevanMarch 26, 2011 at 9:25 PM

    So cute! Can't wait to see what happens when their parents find out :-)

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  21. Susanna Leonard HillMarch 26, 2011 at 9:26 PM

    Me either, Deniz :)

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  22. AnonymousMarch 27, 2011 at 7:10 AM

    Cute! I can picture the scene perfectly.

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  23. AnonymousMarch 27, 2011 at 8:04 AM

    Hi Susannah, You've been shortlisted as one of the top five in the judging round, yay!
    Catherine

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  24. Susanna Leonard HillMarch 27, 2011 at 8:10 AM

    WOW! Thank you, Catherine!

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