Yes, I heard myself :) But seriously. I'm going to try :)
It wouldn't be Would You Read It Wednesday without Something Chocolate, would it? So how about this?
I think these are easier to make than last week's. Go check out the blog at http://www.theidearoom.net/2009/11/oreo-cookie-turkeys.html - recipe |
Now that we're happily snacking, let's move right on to today's pitch (without any entertaining anecdotes or silly banter because just look how brief I'm being!) which comes to us from Lyla. Lyla is an artist and creative writer. The Good Morning Book was written just as much for the parents as for the child, it's a gentle reminder to find the beauty in every day life and to be grateful for all of life's marvelous wonders. She also owns an Etsy store called "Personalize Love" which features hand stamped jewelry and book marks.
Here is her pitch:
Working Title: The Good Morning Book
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 0-4)
The Pitch: Start your day exploring the wonders of this world with The Good Morning Book. This book will inspire young ones and adults to take time out of every morning to appreciate all of the things that make life special. An easy read with rhythmic flow, children of all ages will enjoy.
So what do you think? Would You Read It? YES, MAYBE or NO?
If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Lyla improve her pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)
Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above. There are openings in February so you've got a little time to polish up your pitches and send yours for your chance to be read by editor Erin Molta!
Lyla is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to celebrating Thanksgiving with my family - I have so very much to be thankful for, including all of you! And I'm looking forward to the Linda Ashman Rhyme Clinic which will take place here on Monday! It promises to be AMAZING!
(And I'm just a little alarmed by how short this post is... I wonder if I really wrote it? Maybe I've been taken over by aliens... or turkeys...GOBBLE GOBBLE)
HAPPY THANKSGIVING, Everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow, surrounded by family and with plenty of happinesses to feel thankful for! (And for those of you who don't celebrate Thanksgiving, have a very happy most excellent Thursday!!!) And also a very Happy Hanukkah to those who are celebrating! :)
P.S. Please remember, no PPBF post here on Friday... Family time :)
Lyla is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch! I am looking forward to celebrating Thanksgiving with my family - I have so very much to be thankful for, including all of you! And I'm looking forward to the Linda Ashman Rhyme Clinic which will take place here on Monday! It promises to be AMAZING!
(And I'm just a little alarmed by how short this post is... I wonder if I really wrote it? Maybe I've been taken over by aliens... or turkeys...GOBBLE GOBBLE)
HAPPY THANKSGIVING, Everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow, surrounded by family and with plenty of happinesses to feel thankful for! (And for those of you who don't celebrate Thanksgiving, have a very happy most excellent Thursday!!!) And also a very Happy Hanukkah to those who are celebrating! :)
P.S. Please remember, no PPBF post here on Friday... Family time :)
Stina! Hi! Long time no see! I personally might just eat the turkey components and not bother sticking them all together :) Thanks for chiming in for Lyla! And I guess, being in Canada, you've already celebrated Thanksgiving, but happy Thursday :)
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Thanks for your thoughts for Lyla, Andrea - very helpful! :)
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I feel bad saying "maybe" for the first time...but just like last week when I said the pitch was more like an ad than something to entice readers, that goes doubly so for this pitch. Lyla's book sounds like it has a lot of cute potential but we know nothing of the actual content. As Tina said, it could use an opening line or two from the book. I would like a bit more if a synopsis too. Best of luck to Lyla!
ReplyDeleteSusanna, I'm so proud of you! This was very brief indeed. ;) thanks for the cookie-turkey treat and have a happy Thanksgiving with your family! xo
Thanks for your honest opinion, Teresa - it's important to know how a pitch strikes people - that's the only way to know if it's working. And some people are newer to pitching than others and aren't really sure what goes into a pitch, so it's helpful for them to learn - that's why they're here. I'm glad I impressed you with my brevity :) Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! :)
ReplyDeleteThose turkeys! Neighbors down the street did them for their 2 little boys and you should have seen their smiles. Of course said turkeys didn't live long! Happy holiday to you and yours, Susanna! I'm thankful for all you do for us authors.
ReplyDeleteFor Lyla, the title draws me in, but the pitch as written does not give me a sense of what to expect. Sense is an apt word: a PB needs to be full of sensory images; maybe add examples of some of the "wonders of the world" the book intends to use? So it's a Maybe for me, too.
To Lyla: Like others, I'm intrigued by your title and feel it has potential to be a very special sharing book between adult and child, but there's nothing specific enough in your pitch to really grab me. I'm not going to bother reading it unless I see a specific example of *how* this book is "inspiring."
ReplyDeleteAnd to Susanna: Gobble gobble (and Happy Thanksgiving) to you too!
Yeah, the turkeys wouldn't last long in my house, that's for sure :) Thanks so much for your helpful comments for Lyla, Linda, and have a wonderful Thanksgiving! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your comments for Lyla, Michelle! And happy happy Thanksgiving to you and yours too! :)
ReplyDeleteGobble Gobble!
ReplyDeleteA more specific pitch, citing one or two examples, would grab more readers.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Lyla--mornings are such a chaotic time in modern households, I like the idea of taking time to be appreciative. I would read it, but I don't like the word "special" and I bet you could come up with a better word. Happy Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteI find the title interesting. To hook me into reading it I want to know why it is important to appreciate starting my day with exploring...maybe an opening sentence would include Main Character, a text or sensory or setting details that are in the book. For example, " Monday mornings are good, good , good at Sam's house. Sam loves the smell of pizza and coffee. Each morning Sam discovers ..." I would know the character's name, where the story takes place, and what makes one of his mornings good. I would be inclined to read further to answer the discovery question.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, YES. Every book ends with a good night of some sorts, which is frankly tiring after awhile. What if we want to read at some OTHER time in the day?? :) I did find myself wanting to know a little more about the story though. Instead of telling us it will inspire kids, how about showing an idea in the book that will inspire them? I like the other ideas here about a character name, too. That might help. But love it. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving, Susanna! Those turkeys are making my mouth water :-)
ReplyDeleteLyla, I'm a maybe leaning toward yes. This sounds like a concept book that would interest me. I agree that your pitch needs to give us more of a peek into your book. Give us something in your "dust jacket" blurb that gives us a sense of why it is inspiring. Also, you've already told us that both kids and adults will enjoy it and then you say "kids of all ages" in your next line. That's repetitive. My favorite of the two is "kids of all ages".
I think the idea of a morning book is a great one, but I agree with others -- we need more than what is here. It would help greatly if we had some idea of the characters and one or two concrete examples of what makes mornings great. Happy Thanksgiving, Susanna, and the same to everyone out there. My favorite holiday!
ReplyDeleteSounds lovely! I would take out everything from This book on amd swap it for a character and their motivation. What the others said. Happy Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteYou are going to try to be underpants? That's just weird. ;)
ReplyDeleteYummy Ordy (Oreo + candy) turkeys!
I would read the book, but the pitch is too short - I want to know more! :) I love the message, Good luck Ms. Lyla!
HAPPY THANKGIVING EVERYONE!!! OR Have a great Smorgasbord! (as Skew would say) :D
Hi Tina, thank you for your comments. We must both be thinking of the same idea because this world needs a few good "Good Morning Books" ! Happy Thanksgiving!!
ReplyDeleteStina, thanks for commenting, and you're right about the conflict :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Andrea, yes, very helpful!
ReplyDeleteThank you for saying "maybe" and don't feel bad, Teresa. I love constructive criticism!! and you're so right this is kind of more like an ad than a pitch :) lots to work with and I'm grateful for all the insight! Happy Holidays!
ReplyDeleteA blessed and happy Thanksgiving to you, too, Susanna. Enjoy your family time!
ReplyDeleteGreat turkey!
ReplyDeleteLyla, I would read your book...I LOVE the title...it reminds me of Robert McCloskey's 'One Morning in Maine'. I agree with Tina and some of the others who suggest you might start with a line from the book that would hook the reader into wanting to read more. :) And I don't know that you need to say it is an easy read with a rhythmic flow...the line or lines you give will show that.:)
Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Hanukkah as well
OOPS...pressed post before I was ready.:)
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say that I am so thankful for this entire community...of supportive, loving and encouraging people!
I agree with the others that more specific info is needed and using a line or two from the book might just be the answer. It will both tell what the book is about and also reveal the easy to read, rhythmic flow. The title is inviting!
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving everyone! I too am grateful for this great community we are part of!
So...much...candy! Add that to the three desserts I'm already planning to eat.
ReplyDeleteLyla, THE GOOD MORNING BOOK sounds lovely, and I can't help but think of GOODNIGHT MOON--esp. since it's for ages 0-4.
Along those lines--if it is more like GM (more repetition and images than plot and character), I thought the Amazon "pitch" for GM might be helpful. It gives a character (bunny), examples of images, and a great sense of the book's voice.
GOODNIGHT MOON pitch sample:
In a great green room, tucked away in bed, is a little bunny. "Goodnight moon, goodnight room." And to all the familiar things in the softly-lit room--to the picture of the three little bears sitting in chairs, to the clocks and his socks, to the mittens and the kittens--he says goodnight.
Hopes this helps. Happy Hanukkah! Happy Thanksgiving!
Awesome, thanks Iza!!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant Stacy!!! What a great idea :) Thanks so so so much!! Happy Holiday to you!
ReplyDeleteHello Everyone! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment on this book, I'm so grateful ALL of the remarks! Hope everyone has an awesome Holiday Season!
ReplyDeleteThe book sounds lovely, but a personalized pitch to a child might help.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your Thanksgiving, Susanna. :-)
I'm glad you weren't offended, Lyla! Sounds like you have lots of great advice here to help rework your pitch. And, believe me, we all really want you to succeed. :)
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving to you too!
Sorry I'm late! I like the idea of a good morning book, but I cannot be sure of what will be offered in the pitch - more details please! Maybe choose your favorite three lines form the ms and try to incorporate them in the pitch?
ReplyDeleteThanks for chiming in for Lyla, Nancy! :) Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving!
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Thanks so much for your comments for Lyla, Deborah! Hope your Thanksgiving was terrific :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your thoughtful comments for Lyla, JM - very helpful! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for sharing your thoughts for Lyla, Wendy! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your helpful thoughts for Lyla, Penny! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for you thoughts for Lyla, Rosi! And I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! :)
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Thanks for your thoughts for Lyla, Catherine! :)
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Perhaps I am related to Captain Underpants :) Glad you like the turkeys, thanks for your thoughts for Ms. Nutt, and hope you had a GREAT Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Jarm! You too! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your thoughts for Lyla, Vivian! :)
ReplyDelete:) I am thankful for it too, Vivian, and for you! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your helpful comments for Lyla, Iza! Hope your Thanksgiving was lovely! I too am grateful to be part of this wonderful community!
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:D
ReplyDeleteWhat a great example, Stacy! Thanks for sharing! Happy (belated) Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteThanks for chiming in for Lyla, Tracy, and for the Thanksgiving wishes :)
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No such thing as late around here, Julie :) Thanks so much for stopping by with helpful comments for Lyla! :)
ReplyDeleteYou're very welcome, Lyla! I'm so glad if WYRI has been helpful for you! Thank YOU for being brave enough to pitch :)
ReplyDeleteHappy (late) Thanksgiving everyone! I can barely get teeth brushed and shoes tied before school, and I don't even know when I showered last, so the thought of also exploring the world during the morning too stressed me out! :) But that's with a 3yo & 5yo at home, and if I try I can remember calmer mornings back in your target age range of 0-4 (3?) before I lost all control. Consider a different word choice than "wonders of the world" to be more specific with what's on the pages. (unless it is about the pyramids and the lost city of Atlantis, then keep it!) I can tell from the pitch that it is likely to be soft and cuddly and dreamy.
ReplyDeleteThank you!!! Great comments and also a fair warning about my future... I have a 1 year old. Your right about the wonders of the world, thank you again for such thoughtful comments and taking the time to help out my pitch!
ReplyDeleteThank you Julie, great points to consider!
ReplyDeleteThank you Tracy!
ReplyDeleteAh yes... I remember those mornings well... In fact, it's not so different with teenagers :) Thanks so much for your thoughts for Lyla, Lauri, and I think you might enjoy this: http://www.ivillage.com/viral-video-people-no-kids-dont-know/6-a-553325?obref=obnetwork
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