October 17, 2012

Would You Read It Wednesday #62 - Dishing Up (!) (PB) And The September Pitch Winner

It's another wonderful Wednesday!  And we've got tons of Would You Read It fun lined up :)

But before we get to that, I just have to interrupt myself for one second and say how lucky I am that the nicest people in the world come over here every day!

You all participate so enthusiastically in whatever high jinx and shenanigans I've got going on.  So many of you have helped me with one hair-brained scheme or another out of the kindness of your hearts (remember Phyllis's World Tour?).

A number of you (and you know who you are :)) have recently gone above and beyond to help me with a couple of projects (more on those when and if they come to fruition!)

Whenever I need a talented illustrator or graphic designer (which is pretty much always because I am so bad at that stuff :)) I have only to holler - just look at all the gorgeous book marks and badges and story prompts that abound in this neck of the woods! :)

And then, as if all that weren't enough, Stacy took pity on me (and all of you) because of the Don't-Use-Images-Off-Google-Lest-You-Get-Sued debacle that has left my Would You Read It posts depressingly undecorated with chocolate.  She spent heaven knows how many hours baking amazing treats AND PHOTOGRAPHING THEM!!! and then sent me a whole file full of truly delicious pictures - that I am allowed to use! :) - to make your Wednesdays brighter and chocolate-r.  I am not making this up.  Look!!!
Peppermint Patty Brownie Cupcake
Photo copyright Stacy S. Jensen used by permission
Seriously!  Aren't you just drooling?

So I would like to ask for a big round of applause for Stacy!  Thank you so much for bringing beautiful chocolate back into our Wednesdays.  Really, I'm a little choked up :)

And a huge thank you from me to all of you for taking the time to come over here and join in the fun and support me in whatever crazy thing I've got going at the moment! :)  Please.  Have a cupcake on me!

So, okay, enough of that mushy stuff.  Now that we are suitably armed with Something Chocolate (YUM!), let's go!

First, I'd like to announce the winner of the September Pitch Pick.  It was a tight race!  Our new system of letting writers rework their pitches based on all your helpful comments is resulting in much-improved pitches across the board, making it very difficult to choose!  (Although it does also make it more exciting! :))  Anyway, the winner for September is
with her pitch for Buff The Magic Dragon!  Congratulations Elizabeth!  Especially because you now have the honor and distinction of being the first person in Would You Read It history to win more than one pitch pick!  (You all may recall that Elizabeth won the May pitch pick with her pitch for Magnificent about synchronized swimming elephants :))  Your pitch has been sent to editor Erin Molta for critique and I'm sure we'll hear from her soon!

I would also like to congratulate all the other pitchers - Tina, Vivian, and Catherine - for excellent pitches and for being brave enough to put their work out there for critique.  We all know it isn't easy!  So thank you for stepping up to the plate... or maybe it should be stepping onto the mound :)... although somehow that doesn't sound very good... like maybe something that should be in Catherine's story :)

Anyway, 2nd grade bathroom humor aside, it is now time for today's pitch!

Today we have a pitch from Brenda.  Brenda says, "I am a somewhat average gal, not to tall, not too round, not too young or too old.  I am not outgoing, yet I am definitely not an introvert.  My works include:
-Meeting Myself, Snippets from a Binging and Bulging Mind (about bulimia and me)
- Heartfelt-366 devotions for common sense living
- God, Gluttony & You (a Bible study)
- The Big Red Chair ( a story book for grieving children.)
Writing gives me a way to look at my life and recognize how far I've come.  If you really want to know what I am thinking, read my Daily Devotionals.

Here is her pitch:

Working Title: Dishing Up (!)
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 3-8)
The Pitch: Squabbles and food fights break out when invisible guests show up at a family dinner table.

So what do you think?  Would You Read It?  YES, MAYBE or NO?

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest.  If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Brenda improve her pitch.  Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome.  (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful.  I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks!  For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read It or on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above.  There are openings in December, so you have time to polish :) for a chance for it to be read by editor Erin Molta!

Brenda is looking forward to your thoughts on her pitch!  And I would like to sneak in a quick word from our sponsors before you go.  Have I reminded you lately that the Halloweensie Contest is coming up soon?

I haven't?

Well then, the Halloweensie Contest is coming up soon!!!!!

As you all know, I'm a last-minute kinda gal, so I haven't yet decided exactly what the contest will be...  but it will be on Wednesday October 31 (Halloween!!!) replacing WYRI that day, and it will be a children's story of some type (aren't they always? :)) and it will be tons of fun and there will be good prizes!!!  So put on your halloween thinking caps so you'll be all ready to start writing when I put up the official contest announcement... hmmm.... maybe Monday!

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone :)


  1. Thanks so much to Stacy for that yummy looking dish. I think my belly did a happy dance then I had to remind it that the delicious thing wasn't right here in my hands lol!

    Congrats to Elizabeth for her second pitch win!

    And for today's WYRI, I'm a bit on the fence. I enjoy that it deals with invisible guests starting trouble, but I don't know anything about the MC or if there is an MC although I do see this something that occurs at a family gathering. Is there something that can be learned from what happens?

  2. Glad you enjoyed the chocolate treat, Angela! And thanks so much for your helpful comments for Brenda!

  3. Seriously? Stacy? You made that? And Susanna? You dared put that picture up when you know I am on a diet? I always knew kidlit people were a CRUEL bunch, but you two really take the CAKE. (Stacy, please send recipe ASAP. That is the most scrumptious looking cupcake I have ever seen.)

    Now I have to go back to read the rest of the post, since that treat stopped me in my tracks...brb...

    Okay, I'm back. I am intrigued by the idea of this book and what/who these invisible guests are, so I would say yes based on that. However, the pitch itself feels incomplete. I think one more sentence that hints at the conflict and/or resolution might be in order.

    Happy snacking!

  4. Yummy! I want to go live with Stacy! She's a cook and a photographer and a writer and, I 'm sure she has many other talents we don't even know about!

    Yea! Elizabeth!

    I'm a Maybe for the pitch. You do have me curious about the invisible guests! I imagine the story is great and I hear a touch of humor in the pitch. The reason I am a Maybe is because I know pitches are supposed to be short, but this is too short for me in the fact that it doesn't give enough information to hook me. I think I need to see a glimpse of an appealing character that will make me want to read the story.

  5. Wow, Stacy is an angel! Yes, I am still wiping the drool off my keyboard. You sure do have great friends, Susanna- and that's because you are great too! (btw- other than dessert images which should be Stacy's, you can get copyright free images from
    The pitch is intriguing- and I envision hilarious scenes of flinging food at invisible guests- but I think it needs a bit more explanation. But Bravo to Brenda for her brevity! (I didn't even plan that alliteration! :-)

  6. How fun to open my email to a chocolate cupcake!! Maybe Stacy can share the recipe! Wonderful photo!
    Congratulations, Elizabeth on your win!

    Brenda, I checked your devotional site and read the most recent one about the rhubarb. I love reading devos. Regarding your pitch: I'd say Yes, but tell me more. The invisible guests hooked me, but I'd like to know do these guests cause all the havoc? Are their other characters?

  7. EEK! I was so blinded by chocolate, I forgot to say CONGRATS to our friend Elizabeth for winning her second pitch contest! How can she go wrong with that wonderful brand of quirk? :)

  8. Sidney Schuhmann LevesqueOctober 17, 2012 at 9:34 AM

    A food fight story could be really funny, with mashed potatoes splattered across Billy's face and peas stuck in Grandma's ear. But I would have to know more about the invisible guests and what they are and what role they play and how the children resolve this mess. Interesting pitch!

  9. Yes to the pitch! It made me think of the invisible "Not me" character in the Family Circus comic strip. Very cute!
    Now I need to wipe off my laptop because that cupcake photo is drool worthy!!!

  10. Love that cupcake...great photo, Stacy...would you ever consider bringing a snack like that to the local SCBWI Sunday meeting??? :) We'd have a huge list of new members if the word got out that stuff like that was being served. :)
    Congrats to Elizabeth!!!! Your stories are super creative and fun. :)
    And yes to Brenda's pitch! I would definitely read it! I'm intrigued...can't wait to find out who the invisible guests are. I agree with some of the others that perhaps there might be a 'little' more description in the pitch...but, on the other hand, they say it needs to be ultra brief and you've done that masterfully. :)
    Susanna...I'm looking forward to your Halloweensie's hard to believe, but last Halloween I had never even heard of you or any of the people in this amazing kidlit community!

  11. delores @ thefeatherednestOctober 17, 2012 at 9:56 AM

    Yes I would read it.....ghosties at the table? sounds like fun to lme.

  12. YES, I would read it. She had me at "invisible guests" -- nice, concise pitch, leaves me wanting/needing to read more.

    Stacy is officially peppermint patty brownie awesome sauce! What a fabulous thing to do (and what an incredible-looking cupcake. Wow.)

    This is such a fun blog to be around -- there's always something super cool happening. Thank you so much, Susanna!

  13. P.S. Forgot to say congrats to Elizabeth! Well done!

  14. Round of applause for Elizabeth and Stacy - and a pitch for the recipe too! Please! The invisible guests got me too, but I'd like to hear who might be dealing with them - are the kids surprised too? As an illustrator I can see pictures, but I'd like to 'see' who might be the MCs.

  15. Love the chocolate goodies, Stacy! A great, guilt-free way to get a chocolate fix!

    Re the pitch, I'd give it a maybe, Brenda. While the idea sounds very interesting, I'd like to know more before I give it a "yes": who are the family members; who (or what - they could be animals?) are the invisible guests; why are they invisible; are the family members surprised (do all of them even know they have guests?).

    Look forward to the Halloween contest, Susanna! I'm sure it will be a real treat!

  16. WOW, what a luscious looking cupcake! Amazing, Stacy. Yum!

    OK, down to Brenda's pitch. I'm intrigued, but I definitely want to know more in the pitch. I think another line would really help, especially if it introduced the characters in the family and their reactions to these food-flinging guests, and maybe hinted at some conflict. Here's an example of something that might work, but of course you'd have to customize to your story. I would also name the family in the first sentence, possibly.

    Squabbles and food fights break out when invisible guests show up at the Harris family dinner table. Mom is horrified, Dad hollers, and Jeremy thinks it's first.

  17. Elizabeth Stevens OmlorOctober 17, 2012 at 10:54 AM

    Hooray! What a wonderful start to my day. I am grateful for many things, like for this amazing series, the awesomeness of the other pitches, Carrie Finison's suggestion, the ability to resubmit our entries, but also to my husband who more than anyone else keeps my ego in check. Excited this morning, I told him about the results of the contest and he replies, "A pitch contest? Maybe you should play baseball." SHEESH!

    Stacey, I am so glad that my iPad doesn't have 4D capabilities. I don't think I could ever restrain myself. =)

    And Brenda, I would read this! It has me hooked. At the same time, I am wanting more. I think you have a great start, maybe just add a sentence or two after the first, revealing a little more about those trouble-making invisible guests.

    And Susanna. Thank you so much for your wonderful blog. You have built a mecca for writers who want to learn more about the craft and improve their skills. It is just a warm and inviting place to be. Thanks so much. xoxo

  18. Congratulations to you, Elizabeth! You have so many fun ideas, I don't think it will be long before we're celebrating the release of one (or more!) of your books! :) Thanks for you comments for Brenda, and thank you a million times for your lovely comments about my blog. You have given my day a huge boost - maybe even more than the chocolate cupcake :)

  19. Here's hoping my mouth is better by the contest announcement. *sigh* Stacy is sooooooooo bodaciously cool. She's supecalafragalistic! But now I want one. And my mouth hurts. So I'm sobbing (Cause I really want one of those) which is making my mouth hurt worse. :(

    I would love to read this. But. I agree there should be more description and I want to know who the MC is. It sounds fun though. I love the shortness of the pitch. But put in the MC. The ghosts sound lively. Maybe replace the MC with the family. Because we just need to know about her/him. Great job! Good luck.

  20. I'm right with you on the recipe thing, Tina! I think I should post her recipes at the bottom of the post for anyone whose inspired! :) Better yet, she could take orders and mail them to our door to sustain us during writing :) Thanks so much for your comments for Brenda!

  21. I'm sorry Renee :( I did not know you were on a diet because I see you on your videos where you look gorgeous and it never occurred to me that you would be dieting. (Although maybe that's why you look gorgeous and I should be taking notes and applying to self... :)) The really incredible thing? Just stay tuned and see what else Stacy sent. Unbelievable!!! :) Thanks so much for you comments for Brenda!

  22. I know, right?! I wish I could cook things that look like that! Thanks so much for your helpful comments for Brenda!

  23. It's not pretty, is it - drool on the keyboard :) Thank you for your kind words and your image tips as well as for your alliterative and helpful comments for Brenda :)

  24. Robyn, what am I going to do with you? One problem after another with you this fall :( What's wrong with your mouth? My son got kneed in the face in a football game Saturday and put a tooth most of the way through his lip, so I feel your pain - vicariously. Maybe you can turn the cupcake into a lovely milkshake and sip it carefully through a straw :) Thanks for your thoughtful comments for Brenda, and FEEL BETTER! :)

  25. You know, I'm always saying this, but I think you have a career in pitch consultancy just waiting for you anytime you want to take it up, Carrie :) Thanks so much for your very helpful comments and suggestions for Brenda!

  26. Thanks for your thoughtful comments for Brenda, Patricia! And yay! You are the first person who has expressed interest in the Halloween contest!

  27. Thanks so much for your thoughts for Brenda, Julie. Great to get an illustrator's take!

  28. Thank you for chiming in for Brenda, Beth. And isn't Stacy amazing? Imagine my delight when that file dropped into my inbox! :) And thank YOU for being such a loyal visitor and contributor to everything that goes on around here :)

  29. Isn't Stacy the awesomest? Lucky you that you live near enough to potentially get a real live taste :) Thanks for your comments for Brenda, and for being excited about the Halloween contest!!! I can't believe you weren't here for it last year! I feel like I've known you longer than that :)

  30. Thanks for your comments for Brenda, Coleen! And yes. Please wipe up the drool. Otherwise your fingers could slip and cause a nasty typing accident :)

  31. Thanks so much for your comments for Brenda, Sidney!

  32. So true! I could use some of that quirk in my writing!

    Renee LaTulippe wrote, in response to Renee LaTulippe:

    EEK! I was so blinded by chocolate, I forgot to say CONGRATS to our friend Elizabeth for winning her second pitch contest! How can she go wrong with that wonderful brand of quirk? :)

    User's website
    Link to comment
    IP address:

  33. I would read it. Short and sweet pitch. I am curious enough about this family and how invisible people are portrayed in the illustrations that I want to flip open the book.

    Thanks for the side mention of bookmarks and that brownie looks fabulous. Recipe?

  34. Here's a link: That was my first try to make those. My second attempt wasn't so successful. hee hee.

    I say maybe, because I want to know a little more about who the main character is. I can see that the whole family might be involved (The Splatters Learn Manners comes to mind), but wonder if there is a MC, who resolves this situation or cleans up the mess. Sounds fun.
    Congrats Elizabeth!

  35. That so sweet of you Stacy -- what a friend! Did you eat them all?

    Congratulations Elizabeth on winning the Pitch.

    Today's pitch - maybe. It's sounds interesting but not enough detail. Who is the main character and what do they want.

  36. Even though I hate all things mint, that peppermint patty cupcake looks as if it could change my mind :)

    Yes, I would read Dishing Up. I'm intrigued by the invisible characters, and prospect of a good food fight. However, I think the pitch could fill out a bit more...even the simple mention of a main character or the family members. That would really hook me in!

  37. Thanks so much for your comments for Brenda, Larissa! And next time I'll try to choose a chocolate treat with no mint :)

  38. No, she didn't eat them all. She sent many over here for YOU! :) Thanks for your comments for Brenda, Pat :)

  39. Thanks for the recipe she said, searching through the kitchen for potential ingredients (darn I guess blueberry yogurt would not be a good substitute for cream cheese) :) And thanks for your thoughts for Brenda. And thanks again for the wonderful chocolate pictures :)

  40. Thanks for chiming in for Brenda, Alison! And your welcome for the bookmark mention :) And Stacy posted the recipe on FB and in the comments :) YUMMM!!!!


    Stacy's chocolate photo idea was brilliant, and yummy looking!

  42. Hooray for Elizabeth and a big "thank you" to Stacy for the artwork. As for the pitch, congrats on making it short and sweet. But I do think you could add another line or two. Is there any way you could tell us more about the invisible guests without giving away the surprise?

  43. Yeah! I can't believe I actually get to leave a real live comment, Susanna.
    And Stacy, what a wonderful gesture--providing yummy treat photos for Susanna.
    And Brenda, I'd read the story as the pitch is concise. And yes, I want to know more, but isn't that what a pitch is supposed to do, hook the reader. Obviously, if you pitch this to an agent you'd add a few more sentences to round it out.

  44. Thanks for sharing your thoughts for Brenda, Kirsten! :)

  45. OMG!!! What happened? How are you able to comment??? I'm so happy :) Thanks so much for your comment for Brenda, Tracy, and I hope this means your comment woes are behind us! Fingers crossed :)

  46. Hint: never put a yummy picture of dessert on your blog, unless you don't want me to finish reading the rest of the post!!!!

    Yay, for the dragon pitch. That saw major improvement from the original version. :D

  47. Wow, Stacy, amazing cupcakes and gorgeous photo! Me want!

    I love the pitch! Invisible guests? Food fights? Sounds fun. Not sure about the title, though. I don't think it does the pitch justice.

  48. Next time I'll put it on the bottom :) Recipe link in the comments... if you're interested :)
    Susanna Leonard HillChildren's AuthorWebsiteBlogFace Book PageTwitter

    Subject: [susannaleonardhillblog] Re: Susanna Leonard Hill: Would You Read It Wednesday #62 - Dishing Up (!) (PB) And The September Pitch Winner

  49. You may have seconds on the cupcakes, Vicki :) And thanks so much for your thoughts for Brenda!

  50. It was difficult to concentrate after seeing that mouth-watering cupcake! Because food fights are fun especially if I don't have to clean them up, I liked the pitch. Very clever having invisible culprits!

  51. Boy, that cupcake made quite the impression! I can't believe how many people were distracted by it :) Apparently my previous food pics were not nearly of the same quality! I'd better watch where I put Stacy's delectable desserts :) Thanks for you comment for Brenda, Julie!

  52. Thank you all for your helpful comments and for taking the time to read my blog. I will certainly take all of your thoughts into consideration AND the chocolate is a definite keeper.!
    Brenda J Wood,

  53. I am late to the discussion but yes, it hooked me right off because I had an imaginary friend; my kids all did, too, so I hope they aren't ghosts. Go, a PB about imaginary friends! However good concise is, I want to know more: a couple of hints on plot and MC. Brenda, this sounds very readable. Best of luck with this project.

  54. Thanks for sharing your thoughts for Brenda, Linda! :)

  55. It's a miracle, Susanna! I have no idea, but yeah, I'm no longer hanging out on the fringe.

  56. Squeee! :)

    Tracy Campbell wrote, in response to Susanna Leonard Hill:

    It's a miracle, Susanna! I have no idea, but yeah, I'm no longer hanging out on the fringe.

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  57. Stacy is awesome! I'm scared to use pictures too.

    Congratulations to Elizabeth!

    I'm not sure about Brenda's pitch. Sound like it could be fun, but who/what are these invisible guests, and how did they cause such mayhem? I think the title could reflect the fun in the pitch better.

    Ooo, a contest? Can't wait to hear all about it.

  58. First, I want Stacy's address and what she is baking today. I'm coming over. Need chocolate! Beautiful picture. She is as talented with photography as she is with baking. Wow!

    The pitch is perfect in its simplicity. However, being a mother, I was a bit uncomfortable with the thought of a food fight. Having invisible 'somethings' doing it makes it more palatable (giggle) for me.

  59. I'm not at liberty to pass Stacy's address around :) but she did put a link to the recipe in the comment section! Thanks for your comments for Brenda, Sharron! :)

  60. I know - isn't that photo delicious? Thanks for your comments for Brenda, and you just reminded me I forgot to put the contest rules on yesterday's post! Duh! Thank you :)


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