tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post7524225288410128105..comments2024-02-25T10:47:13.049-05:00Comments on Susanna Leonard Hill: Would You Read It Wednesday - The Fifth Pitch! And A Surprise!!!Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655630528649780363noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-86133264455853283852011-11-04T16:30:11.467-04:002011-11-04T16:30:11.467-04:00I'm late making this comment as I just found S...I'm late making this comment as I just found Susanna's site. I agree that you should have a name in the pitch for your central character. I am sure that teachers wanting students to know about the world outside theirs, would be interested.<br />What about "After this, I'll learn and have hope"<br />My friend goes with a Christian group to Uganda or Malawi each year and she sees needs we need to know about.<br />I'd pitch this kind of thing:-<br /> Mirembe lives with grandmother as her parents had died; she collects wood and water daily but really wants to go to school. Her chance comes when she meets a kind man.<br />I don't know about your orphan but the story above is about a girl whom I support in Uganda. She was eight and had no way to get an education until a kind missionary enrolled her in a program and asked for support for her. Mirembe is now 16 years old and writes good English and has hope for her future. Your pitch needs to help us anticipate that kind of thing.<br />God bless you<br />JaneAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-80271659240886557472011-08-28T10:40:14.870-04:002011-08-28T10:40:14.870-04:00Got it guys! Thanks all!! The title will be shorte...Got it guys! Thanks all!! The title will be shortened if I get an offer to publish in hard copy. The pitch has already been altered to reflect all these thoughtful and insightful reflections! Susanna, big big kudos on developing such an obviously compelling site. I will continue to follow you.<br />p.s. the title of the book I am presently working on is a simple SHE, and the title of my nonfiction about my Africa journey is merely MUZUNGU. Now I'll alter their pitches as well. You guys have all been great. For all the naysayers and thumbs-uppers alike out there, consider buying the children's book. Share with your kids or students, open your hearts and minds, and make a MUCH needed charitable donation all with one click of the mouse. Thanks, again. And be safe out there!Pam Bitterman/Authorhttp://www.pamelasismanbitterman.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-59814246743032367512011-08-28T09:04:55.451-04:002011-08-28T09:04:55.451-04:00Bridget - thanks so much! I'm glad you like t...Bridget - thanks so much! I'm glad you like the blog and hope you'll be back. If I haven't been to your yet, I'll get there soon.<br /><br />Pamela Jo - I agree that Gail's comment was very helpful. See you around the campaign :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17655630528649780363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-60277427093507345852011-08-28T03:11:20.317-04:002011-08-28T03:11:20.317-04:00Hi Susanna, I am a fellow campaigner here.
As to ...Hi Susanna, I am a fellow campaigner here. <br />As to the pitch, it just seemed to bland. So I would be a maybe headed toward no.<br />I really like Gail's put on the pitch. I agree with her about Telling in the pitch that it is a true story based on an orphan named... who must overcome... to achieve his goal.<br />That would make me want to know more.<br /><br />Pamela JoTheres just lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01557649636152032566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-18954412528998454142011-08-27T23:36:28.245-04:002011-08-27T23:36:28.245-04:00I am a fellow campaigner and am amazed by all of t...I am a fellow campaigner and am amazed by all of the opportunities I've come across in just one day! You are really paying it forward and that's so great.bridgetstraub.comhttp://bridgetstraub.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-38672641942270303852011-08-27T12:49:57.995-04:002011-08-27T12:49:57.995-04:00Thanks all, again, again! And Susanna, thank you, ...Thanks all, again, again! And Susanna, thank you, especially.pam Bitterman/Authorhttp://www.pamelasismanbitterman.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-65974008008936488722011-08-27T12:46:40.890-04:002011-08-27T12:46:40.890-04:00Thanks for your enthusiasm, E.J.! I'll look f...Thanks for your enthusiasm, E.J.! I'll look forward to your pitch! I'm really excited about Erin's involvement, too - I think we'll all learn a lot :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17655630528649780363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-33130931763424812742011-08-27T09:44:38.878-04:002011-08-27T09:44:38.878-04:00Susanna, this has turned into some kind of happeni...Susanna, this has turned into some kind of happening! Absolutely awesome that you've snagged a pro to share thoughts. (Might have to get a pitch ready myself!)<br /><br />As for the current pitch, I'd give it a maybe. While I think the concept has merit, the pitch really doesn't tell us much about the specific character, the journey or really even what we're going to find in the book. I think instead of telling us (readers) what we are going to intrinsically gain by reading, the pitch should maybe tell us about the actual story.<br /><br />Again, great idea/topic, just more about the story. Looking forward to reading Erin's thoughts on some of the pitches! (I hope she'll share them here, too.)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00273059558675234923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-49048449808236929972011-08-26T20:42:32.674-04:002011-08-26T20:42:32.674-04:00Wow that is an awesome surprise!!! Thanks Susannah...Wow that is an awesome surprise!!! Thanks Susannah for setting that up :)<br /><br />As for the pitch I love it but I think the title is way too long. I'd go with something short and catchy that encapsulates the pitch.<br />In fact you could simply call it: When this is over. <br /><br />Best<br />CatherineCatherine Johnsonhttp://catherinemjohnson.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-23944252642285175642011-08-26T15:52:26.090-04:002011-08-26T15:52:26.090-04:00Carla - so glad you like the idea! I'll look ...Carla - so glad you like the idea! I'll look forward to your pitch... oh, wait! It's already in my inbox :) I;ll put you on the calendar :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17655630528649780363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-48704050213027474832011-08-26T14:24:09.324-04:002011-08-26T14:24:09.324-04:00Susannah--this is an awesome idea!! I'm defin...Susannah--this is an awesome idea!! I'm definitely going to get involved--thanks for starting such an exciting program!<br /><br />Pam--I think you have started such a noble and worthwhile project! Your book sounds very interesting and the cause is wonderful. Based on the pitch, I'd be a "maybe." Personally, I like a shorter book title and at least one detail or lure in the pitch about the book. It's risky to tell me how I will feel reading it because you don't know me personally. :) <br /><br />CarlaCarlahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15380048190884905579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-28197226140777185242011-08-26T10:55:56.472-04:002011-08-26T10:55:56.472-04:00Yes, I would read it, but I think the title needs ...Yes, I would read it, but I think the title needs to be shorter. It seems as though it would be an excellent book to read to kids to help get them excited about reading and understanding that not every child (even now in 2011) has the opportunity to read. When looking for PB for young children the message needs to be there FAST so that kids are into the story immediately. I think just the first part of your title would be intriguing enough to get kids and parents to ask the question: why WOULDN'T I got o school to read. From the pitch this child sounds determined and motivated and potentially inspirational. Good luck with your book sales and building readership!Tracy MacDonaldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03615611919340469444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-57441454942669597082011-08-26T10:13:46.278-04:002011-08-26T10:13:46.278-04:00My (and perhaps even Susanna's) secret hope wa...My (and perhaps even Susanna's) secret hope was that someone would come up with the "magic pitch sentence" for my book. The obvious upshot of any pitch is to entice folks to buy the book, but particularly in my case as every purchase literally represents a life-line for kids at mortal risk. Thank you all for your thoughtful and helpful comments, and Gail, yours will have immediate repercussions. It will be applied to my pitch forthwith!! Again, thank you all!. My daughter is a teacher and she says she can envision this book in every classroom. I wish to make that vision a reality.pam Bitterman/Authorhttp://www.pamelasismanbitterman.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-23724617960533332812011-08-26T09:14:03.926-04:002011-08-26T09:14:03.926-04:00Rosalind - I thought it up out of my own little he...Rosalind - I thought it up out of my own little head... and then I got the idea about Eric afterwards which, I think, makes it even better :) I hope you'll join in the fun. Send a pitch! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17655630528649780363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-53338222131163599072011-08-26T09:07:03.715-04:002011-08-26T09:07:03.715-04:00This is fascinating. Where did you get the idea fo...This is fascinating. Where did you get the idea for such a brilliant blog theme. <br /><br />Regarding this week's pitch, I too think the title is too long and I would like to be told a bit more about the content. So I'm a maybe.Rosalind Adamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05363027308436257933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-55844759747437898312011-08-26T00:44:30.953-04:002011-08-26T00:44:30.953-04:00Hi Pam, I'd have to say Maybe, but veering tow...Hi Pam, I'd have to say Maybe, but veering towards No, even though I have a lot of interest in Kenya. Your pitch is too vague: focus on the story. Who is the main character? What is his problem? How will he resolve it? I think you say in your comment above that this is a true story, so why not start out:<br /><br />"The true story of (name), an orphaned Kenyan boy who...etc. (specifically what his problem is and how he succeeds). That would get your audience identifying immediately with this boy and his real life struggles.Gail Shepherdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16998497900316232330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-18696054709372814082011-08-25T22:30:26.802-04:002011-08-25T22:30:26.802-04:00Hi Kelly - so glad you stopped by! I hope you'...Hi Kelly - so glad you stopped by! I hope you'll have a pitch to submit :) I have to agree about this story's potential usefulness in the classroom!Susanna Leonard Hillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17655630528649780363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-60457674078672345252011-08-25T22:24:59.159-04:002011-08-25T22:24:59.159-04:00Hi Susanna! Fellow Campaigner here, and I love thi...Hi Susanna! Fellow Campaigner here, and I love this Would You REad It concept!!!<br /><br />Regarding the PB, my initial thought was that the title was too long, so my answer was maybe. BUT as a teacher, I think this would be very useful in the classroom to show life in Kenya plus the emotional aspects that the book is sure to convey.Kelly Polarkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10968381456100611120noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-40341819544535472452011-08-25T19:35:13.494-04:002011-08-25T19:35:13.494-04:00So glad to see you here, J.C., and so glad you lik...So glad to see you here, J.C., and so glad you like the idea! Maybe you'll want to submit a pitch one of these days...? :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17655630528649780363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-39380444562266640562011-08-25T18:07:21.633-04:002011-08-25T18:07:21.633-04:00I missed your previous Would You Read It posts. Wh...I missed your previous Would You Read It posts. What a clever concept, and a nice way to showcase fellow writers on your blog. For Pam's, it's a MAYBE that will lean towards a YES if I had young children of my own.J.C. Martinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01567971311643106302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-91504337160944632972011-08-25T09:43:49.038-04:002011-08-25T09:43:49.038-04:00Thank you all! I'm not sure exactly how to pit...Thank you all! I'm not sure exactly how to pitch this book simply, because it is not a simple concept. I believe it is a great story, however, unlike anything I've come across, and it needs to be told. There are children waiting. If anyone can come up with a shorter and more "grab you" pitch, I am open! Also, I have had some reviews of the book which speak directly to the tile length, (all questing first, and then positive!) and one used it as the subject of her review -"How a book title can be long, and work." The title is a quote, a chant of the little boy in the story. It is important, in it's entirety.pam Bitterman/Authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-22201784716218253722011-08-25T00:21:33.445-04:002011-08-25T00:21:33.445-04:00Wow Pam! Now that I just read what you wrote I am ...Wow Pam! Now that I just read what you wrote I am definitely hooked on your book. I know your comment is probably longer than a pitch should be, but you just personalized it and made it sound unique, one-of-a-kind. Thank you so much! I've been thinking about your book today and came back, because I was hoping to learn more about it and I'm so glad I did!Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14469312477524652967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-90693806671732071132011-08-24T23:09:14.022-04:002011-08-24T23:09:14.022-04:00This is a great idea, Pam, and a book I would love...This is a great idea, Pam, and a book I would love to read! You might want to consider a shorter title, and perhaps the pitch sounds a bit from an adult's perspective. But, oh, how I hope this book finds a home.Michelle Fayardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05323853315988838877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-41303660624268873362011-08-24T22:02:00.127-04:002011-08-24T22:02:00.127-04:00That is exciting news.
I think the title should b...That is exciting news.<br /><br />I think the title should be longer and the pitch should be more specific. Like the title should be in the pitch. How the readers will react should not. <br /><br />The title makes me want to read it.Theresa Milsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03477761307315565259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-14302673218058561132011-08-24T21:38:03.111-04:002011-08-24T21:38:03.111-04:00Thanks all. I agree totally, and voiced much the s...Thanks all. I agree totally, and voiced much the same concerns to Susanna with respect to being held to a one sentence pitch. My book requires more to do it justice. It is unique and deserves to have it's special elements identified; for instance it's true, based on my own personal experience there. It is told in the voice of one orphan, a "real boy." The book was illustrated by the village youngsters with whom I worked while there. And the proceeds from the sale of the book are promised back to them. There are many color photographs in the book as well. It is truly a one of a kind - teach a valuable lesson, open young minds, entertain, learn another language (There are translated Swahili words in the story) and make a benevolent donation all with one click of the mouse! I would have loved to have had all these points in the pitch!Pam Bitterman/Authorhttp://www.pamelasismanbitterman.comnoreply@blogger.com