tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post7328569841369238859..comments2024-02-25T10:47:13.049-05:00Comments on Susanna Leonard Hill: Would You Read It Wednesday #118 - Gwynivere The Ear Finds Her Nose (PB)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655630528649780363noreply@blogger.comBlogger75125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-27658570392174069732014-01-27T19:31:42.929-05:002014-01-27T19:31:42.929-05:00You cannot trust that little g-hog around strawber...You cannot trust that little g-hog around strawberries, Janet - sorry! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-13667149123353329812014-01-24T12:51:26.226-05:002014-01-24T12:51:26.226-05:00Thanks so much for your thoughts for Kristen, Vivi...Thanks so much for your thoughts for Kristen, Vivian! :) And I believe it's time for more cake :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-6831901154110857522014-01-24T01:11:49.110-05:002014-01-24T01:11:49.110-05:00A definitely YES for me, Susanna...both for the mo...A definitely YES for me, Susanna...both for the molten chocolate and for Kirsten's pitch.:)<br />What a fun premise, Kirsten...you had me smiling from the first word to the last...not much to improve on it because it rocks...but I liked Stacy's suggestion to remove the word 'self-proclaimed'.:)Vivian Kirkfieldnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-55333309962249379772014-01-23T20:49:29.048-05:002014-01-23T20:49:29.048-05:00Well, you know, I'm all about the nutrition, D...Well, you know, I'm all about the nutrition, Deb :) (Snort, guffaw :)) Thanks for your thoughts for Kirsten :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-84526268997909305512014-01-23T20:48:26.114-05:002014-01-23T20:48:26.114-05:00Thanks so much for your thoughts, Stacy, and the l...Thanks so much for your thoughts, Stacy, and the links :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-40241653122595185032014-01-23T20:47:43.232-05:002014-01-23T20:47:43.232-05:00I would, Janet, but Phyllis ATE all the strawberri...I would, Janet, but Phyllis ATE all the strawberries! Thanks so much for your helpful comments for Kirsten! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-47815925681119015302014-01-23T18:32:31.319-05:002014-01-23T18:32:31.319-05:00The raspberry is good, BUT, make it a strawberry a...The raspberry is good, BUT, make it a strawberry and I'm sold. :)<br />Hmmm, so the pitch. It definitely sounds like it could be cute and campy, and hilarious, but I wanted a few more specific details in the pitch. Right now the story feels a bit vague to me. What kind of chaos follows her? Name a specific event instead of the generality of it. What kind of problems does she overhear? Give a specific instead of the generality. What exactly goes wrong? And I'm wondering if you could make this less about the lesson learned, and more about the story? I don't think you need all that info in the pitch, but maybe that could help lead you in the right direction. Best of luck with your story! :)Janet Johnsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-22468349526299005022014-01-22T23:33:58.423-05:002014-01-22T23:33:58.423-05:00I'd read it. I like Wendy and Julie Ro-Zo'...I'd read it. I like Wendy and Julie Ro-Zo's comments.I would drop self-proclaimed and seems to. I did a double take on the name - Gwynivere. guess I was thinking Gwenivere (Found this fun link from the urban dictionary ...http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gwenivere). The characters are body parts, right? Not children having the super hero qualities of those parts? I just watched this video about a kickstarter project called the Story of My Face today. It's a book with parts of a face: https://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/category/kickstarter. Good luck.Stacy S. Jensennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-81409752788477406992014-01-22T22:48:16.377-05:002014-01-22T22:48:16.377-05:00Love that nutritious raspberry, Susanna! I was a ...Love that nutritious raspberry, Susanna! I was a little creeped out to think of an ear as a character, but now I'm thinking that she's called "The Ear" as a nickname? Yes, I would read it, just to find out! Very well crafted pitch, Kirsten.deborahhwilliamsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-4409670098151998602014-01-22T21:27:02.903-05:002014-01-22T21:27:02.903-05:00Thanks so much for your helpful thoughts for Kirst...Thanks so much for your helpful thoughts for Kirsten, Joy! Very interesting points!Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-20825074397746191862014-01-22T21:26:23.880-05:002014-01-22T21:26:23.880-05:00Thanks so much for chiming in, Elaine! :)Thanks so much for chiming in, Elaine! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-16277226305505803422014-01-22T17:20:04.382-05:002014-01-22T17:20:04.382-05:00Yes! I would read it. It sounds fun and unique. Lo...Yes! I would read it. It sounds fun and unique. Lots of luck, Kirsten! :)disqus_xkUvROpuwpnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-6945882183765872802014-01-22T17:06:28.780-05:002014-01-22T17:06:28.780-05:00Yes, I'd read this. It does sound very campy ...Yes, I'd read this. It does sound very campy and I'd vote to go over the top and use an ear and a nose--the illustrations could be wild.<br />I also thought the story was written in rhyming verse because of the rhyming names of the two main characters Gwynivere the Ear and Nosy Rosy. The rhyming could add to the groan/punny factors in the story. I think if that isn't the intent the names need to be changed.Joynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-88376743020192519332014-01-22T16:22:50.718-05:002014-01-22T16:22:50.718-05:00Thanks so much for chiming in, Heather! :)Thanks so much for chiming in, Heather! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-26863346992496891932014-01-22T16:22:35.009-05:002014-01-22T16:22:35.009-05:00Oh my! It's even colder where you are, Cather...Oh my! It's even colder where you are, Catherine! I could use a cozy fire too! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-90977260056056647912014-01-22T16:18:55.366-05:002014-01-22T16:18:55.366-05:00Yes, I would definitely read it!
I agree with Kri...Yes, I would definitely read it!<br /><br />I agree with Kristi, the title could be shorter.Heather Greenenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-85331135891816272992014-01-22T15:42:43.721-05:002014-01-22T15:42:43.721-05:00I absolutely love that pitch, story everything! An...I absolutely love that pitch, story everything! And that chocolate cake. I need a fire glowing next to warm my -20 feet. Brrr...Catherine Johnsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-30617349583777142382014-01-22T15:14:05.633-05:002014-01-22T15:14:05.633-05:00Yay! I'm sure she'll be happy with your r...Yay! I'm sure she'll be happy with your reaction, Julie! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-72027965293974744202014-01-22T15:04:28.132-05:002014-01-22T15:04:28.132-05:00I love it love it love it. I can't think of a...I love it love it love it. I can't think of anything to improve. I can just imagine the illustrations. I hope that Kristen will post her first 250 on the 12x12, I want to read this, he he.Julie Grassonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-9733194508144382372014-01-22T14:20:37.630-05:002014-01-22T14:20:37.630-05:00Hahaha, Sue, very clever :) Thanks for pitching i...Hahaha, Sue, very clever :) Thanks for pitching in. Now, go wash your keyboard! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-59758575189838865452014-01-22T14:18:55.312-05:002014-01-22T14:18:55.312-05:00Finally finished licking molten chocolate off my k...Finally finished licking molten chocolate off my keyboard so I can comment: Yes, I'd read this pitch, but wonder if Kirsten could leave off the "ear" - just call her Gwynivere at first... maybe allude to others calling her "the Ear". I love that she will team up and discover that using two senses makes more sense.Sue Heavenrichnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-69437361180203305442014-01-22T14:18:01.721-05:002014-01-22T14:18:01.721-05:00Thanks so much for your two cents, Keila - I'm...Thanks so much for your two cents, Keila - I'm sure Kirsten will like them :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-340191700639090622014-01-22T14:03:13.116-05:002014-01-22T14:03:13.116-05:00Yes! Girl hero who helps others yet recognizes her...Yes! Girl hero who helps others yet recognizes her limitations to overcome the chaos in her life. Super-duper strength inside and out. Love her name! I would think an illustrator would have fun with this book.Keilanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-56929685780361230352014-01-22T13:59:16.243-05:002014-01-22T13:59:16.243-05:00I'm sure Kirsten will be thrilled to hear that...I'm sure Kirsten will be thrilled to hear that, Heather! Thanks for chiming in! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-68720984795693716092014-01-22T13:58:08.235-05:002014-01-22T13:58:08.235-05:00Thanks for your helpful suggestions and thoughtful...Thanks for your helpful suggestions and thoughtful revision of Kirsten's pitch, Julie! And yes, I put that raspberry there just for you! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com