tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post550436764095894913..comments2024-02-25T10:47:13.049-05:00Comments on Susanna Leonard Hill: Would You Read It Wednesday - The 17th PitchSusanna Leonard Hillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655630528649780363noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-22868784736843111682011-11-21T12:56:34.538-05:002011-11-21T12:56:34.538-05:00I think mentioning that Kal is an alien is really ...I think mentioning that Kal is an alien is really important to this pitch. It strengthens it substantially. I think the premise is very interesting, but the pitch should be tightened some. It gets a little bogged down. But the idea is great and unique.Kim Lnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-31160297173079855872011-11-17T23:00:41.365-05:002011-11-17T23:00:41.365-05:00I also wondered who Kal was and his 'bulb'...I also wondered who Kal was and his 'bulb'. I think your pitch needs to clarify that he is alien and what hegrows inside him is invaluable to others but risky to sell. Once you rework the pitch, the story will be more intriguing.<br /> Wishing you well.<br />Jane in OntarioAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-28448678590618770722011-11-17T22:47:46.625-05:002011-11-17T22:47:46.625-05:00Julie - you are so funny :) Write your Thanksgivi...Julie - you are so funny :) Write your Thanksgiving story :) Links will go up next week!Susanna Leonard Hillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17655630528649780363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-45569008279694791682011-11-17T21:54:48.148-05:002011-11-17T21:54:48.148-05:00I am perhaps the dimmest bulb here. I'm glad y...I am perhaps the dimmest bulb here. I'm glad you shed a light on the simbiotic plant inside an alien's body. This is still too confusing for me, but best of luck in your efforts! Susanna, I'd like to enter your Thanksgiving contest, but I didn't see the link on the details page. I think this also has something to do with trading in my bulb. JulieEmpty Nest Insiderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10074223969046687064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-14835777988408375802011-11-17T20:23:39.678-05:002011-11-17T20:23:39.678-05:00Candy - thank you so much! You are so lovely :)Candy - thank you so much! You are so lovely :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17655630528649780363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-55598391753374139622011-11-17T15:49:11.650-05:002011-11-17T15:49:11.650-05:00Hi, Susanna! I see you've gotten this before, ...Hi, Susanna! I see you've gotten this before, but I think your blog is "lovely" too!<br /><br />http://cfitewrite.blogspot.com/2011/11/scbwi-regional-conference-blog-award.htmlAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02691497935668743387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-37668775602003531282011-11-17T15:08:16.743-05:002011-11-17T15:08:16.743-05:00This has a lot of potential. I'd give this a &...This has a lot of potential. I'd give this a "no" as in "not quite ready to pitch to an agent," although I might personally dive in. I'm a sci-fi fan. But if you're trying to get this pitch ready to query, here's my advice (for what it's worth). 1) don't raise unanswered questions in a pitch. 2) If Kal isn't human, what is he? 3) what is a bulb, and why do humans want them? Why is he "donating"? Who catches him? And what does it cost him? <br />In other words, I'd go back and really polish this as a pitch for either an agent or to self pub. Even so, I'd probably read the first couple of pages to see if I was hooked.Gail Shepherdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16998497900316232330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-80530328494716485302011-11-17T14:05:11.718-05:002011-11-17T14:05:11.718-05:00I agree with the others~it's intriguing, but k...I agree with the others~it's intriguing, but kind of leaves me with more questions than excitement. Lots of interesting things hinted at and it sounds like a unique concept!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14121018905141253640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-41936180430581281522011-11-17T10:38:43.560-05:002011-11-17T10:38:43.560-05:00Yes, you can post my comment if you identify me as...Yes, you can post my comment if you identify me as the one saying what I said in my comment. <br /><br />Good luck, Hali.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-31499229332944048002011-11-17T10:36:36.658-05:002011-11-17T10:36:36.658-05:00I am a maybe because of the confusion in bulbs. Th...I am a maybe because of the confusion in bulbs. The questions raised are intriguing but also confusing. If the questions were rephrased to reveal the answers in a way that makes for tight reading it may be a better pitch.<br /><br /> I heard agents don't like questions to spark the desire to read the book. But that's just what I heard.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-67847620004237781612011-11-17T10:18:23.501-05:002011-11-17T10:18:23.501-05:00thankyou everyone, this was very helpful. I will ...thankyou everyone, this was very helpful. I will clarify the bulb - it is a simbiotic plant that grows inside Kal's body. He is an alien. May I post any of your comments on my blog?hallihttp://hallililburn.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-67196121181182264682011-11-17T08:02:27.159-05:002011-11-17T08:02:27.159-05:00Depends. Like the others, I'm curious what you...Depends. Like the others, I'm curious what you mean by "bulb." If it's a plant or flashlight, probably not. If it's a part of the body definitely yes.<br /><br />The pitch might get me to do a quick search to find out the answer.<br /><br />On the other hand, if bulbs were clarified in the pitch and was a body part, I'd definitely head to Goodreads to check out the rating, which is huge, cause I'm only one click away from adding you to my reading list.Reena Jacobshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16860984511692822921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-12213997965777539502011-11-16T23:50:05.260-05:002011-11-16T23:50:05.260-05:00WOW -- that was quite a pitch! Yes, I would read ...WOW -- that was quite a pitch! Yes, I would read it. I also wondered what "bulb" really meant.Patricia Tilltonhttp://www.childrensbooksheal.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-30040816592050460512011-11-16T22:33:44.106-05:002011-11-16T22:33:44.106-05:00I need to check out the Thanksgiving contest!
For ...I need to check out the Thanksgiving contest!<br />For the pitch, I'm a maybe. I was also confused about the bulbs, but don't understand the power of a flower bulb to create danger in Kal's life. Also, if Kal is not human, what is he? I like the excitement of the action and future, but am not sure of the whole story line.Tracy MacDonaldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03615611919340469444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-62231130236167042092011-11-16T21:04:24.276-05:002011-11-16T21:04:24.276-05:00It's interesting, but I'm a bit confused. ...It's interesting, but I'm a bit confused. First I thought actual light bulbs were being traded. Then I figured they were plant bulbs. Then I realized I must be dumb because I don't really know what kind of bulbs there are and why they're being traded.Theresa Milsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03477761307315565259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-20271264210107972782011-11-16T20:27:43.149-05:002011-11-16T20:27:43.149-05:00It's not my normal genre, but it sounds very f...It's not my normal genre, but it sounds very fun--I'd definitely read it!Carlahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15380048190884905579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-18502186006151234062011-11-16T16:55:18.051-05:002011-11-16T16:55:18.051-05:00Yes, i would read it. I like that sci-fi/dystopic...Yes, i would read it. I like that sci-fi/dystopic/twilight zone feel :)Coleen Patrickhttp://coleenpatrick.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-69667779122534353802011-11-16T11:00:21.145-05:002011-11-16T11:00:21.145-05:00I would definitely read it. YES, YES, YES! I am al...I would definitely read it. YES, YES, YES! I am all about YA stuff like this. :)Abby Fowershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08567978659174723198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-45016880129543084942011-11-16T08:31:08.652-05:002011-11-16T08:31:08.652-05:00Hi Catherine - we should talk :) Glad you like th...Hi Catherine - we should talk :) Glad you like the pitch!Susanna Leonard Hillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17655630528649780363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-49868869649283225702011-11-16T07:13:16.105-05:002011-11-16T07:13:16.105-05:00Hi Susanna, So are we having Fun Friday photos in ...Hi Susanna, So are we having Fun Friday photos in the same post as out Picture Book ones or two separate ones on a Friday. Should we just drop FFFF? <br /><br />Great pitch! I'm not really into sci-fi but it does sound exciting.catherinemjohnson.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14682281308178996823noreply@blogger.com