tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post3605300499585823525..comments2024-02-25T10:47:13.049-05:00Comments on Susanna Leonard Hill: Would You Read It Wednesday #160 - Finley VS The Fly (PB) PLUS The December/January Pitch Pick!Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655630528649780363noreply@blogger.comBlogger59125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-54836051295640241512015-02-09T21:31:02.732-05:002015-02-09T21:31:02.732-05:00Don't feel bad, Erik! You are a busy guy! I ...Don't feel bad, Erik! You are a busy guy! I appreciate you stopping by at all, and I know Ms. Larson does too. No worries about the voting - we have a very clear winner this time, so no tie-breakers were needed, and there are always plenty of brownies for you! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-33086938510920817392015-02-09T11:42:10.071-05:002015-02-09T11:42:10.071-05:00I couldn't vote, mostly because the poll close...I couldn't vote, mostly because the poll closed. Serves me for being late - humpf. Are there anymore brownies? ;)<br />Ms. Atnip's picture is awesome! :D<br />I don't think I can say any more than what other people have said, but I WOULD read the book! :DThis_Kid_Reviews_Books_Eriknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-20105125553041163162015-02-07T12:01:43.644-05:002015-02-07T12:01:43.644-05:00Thanks so much for chiming in for Kirsten, Ariel! ...Thanks so much for chiming in for Kirsten, Ariel! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-3739036215116105122015-02-06T20:45:24.290-05:002015-02-06T20:45:24.290-05:00Thanks so much for your comments for Kirsten, John...Thanks so much for your comments for Kirsten, Johnell, and for your helpful re-wording of the pitch!Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-9383638376349336372015-02-06T17:53:52.468-05:002015-02-06T17:53:52.468-05:00I'd read it. Lots of great suggestions already...I'd read it. Lots of great suggestions already but to add one other: <br /><br /> On the verge of losing his favorite sandwich to a pesky fly, Finley strikes back. He tries the vacuum cleaner, the sink sprayer and (another item) to vanquish his flitting foe, but the fly isn't going down easy. When the chaos finally settles and Finley wins the day, he starts to wish he hadn't. <br /><br />I added vacuum cleaner because it fit with the same cadence of your following item: sink sprayer. This sounds very fun.Johnell DeWitthttp://dewdropsofink.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-79709724947028335762015-02-06T13:45:21.912-05:002015-02-06T13:45:21.912-05:00I think that's a first! It's ALWAYS my bl...I think that's a first! It's ALWAYS my blog! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-7747533155288903062015-02-06T07:48:37.827-05:002015-02-06T07:48:37.827-05:00Yes, I did manage to reply. I realized it was me...Yes, I did manage to reply. I realized it was me, not your blog!Carol L.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-20442672395181372702015-02-05T15:35:09.385-05:002015-02-05T15:35:09.385-05:00I would read this! It sounds like wonderful, silly...I would read this! It sounds like wonderful, silly fun :) I don't know if someone else suggested this already but I would put a comma after 'more'. Also, instead of two 'he's in a row, I would change the second 'he' to 'Finley.'Ariel Bernsteinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-66653112973029244072015-02-05T14:54:03.550-05:002015-02-05T14:54:03.550-05:00Thank you for your comments for Kirsten, Angela! ...Thank you for your comments for Kirsten, Angela! And by all means, help yourself to as many brownies as you like after the agony of voting :) I'm glad you enjoyed Dana's drawing - I thought it was inspired :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-25757157219460285292015-02-05T14:51:23.681-05:002015-02-05T14:51:23.681-05:00Thank you so much for your encouraging comments fo...Thank you so much for your encouraging comments for Kirsten, Ann! And yay! You managed to comment! Did you switch browsers, or did my blog just feel cooperative today? :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-64658902155745858492015-02-05T14:24:01.353-05:002015-02-05T14:24:01.353-05:00I would read your book, Kirsten! The line about ...I would read your book, Kirsten! The line about the vacuum and sink sprayer pulled me in! I immediately thought of some funny illustrations.Carol L.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-46955187711528952392015-02-05T09:37:31.764-05:002015-02-05T09:37:31.764-05:00I am TOTALLY late to the party (yesterday was bonk...I am TOTALLY late to the party (yesterday was bonkers!) - but here I am :). I voted (hard, as usual!!) and ate the day-old brownies (which were remarkably good considering LOL). <br /><br />I think I would read this one, Kristen. I glanced a bit at the comments below, but didn't read carefully - so some of my thoughts may be repeats. I would change "favorite" to a specific type of sandwich. I know I'm not the first to point out the missing comma. I'd also be more specific about the "chaos in the kitchen" - and probably the last sentence too. Sounds like a fun story with LOTS of room for illustrations!Joanne Shernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-10488052314633541932015-02-05T06:05:47.321-05:002015-02-05T06:05:47.321-05:00I would read this book, sounds like it could be a ...I would read this book, sounds like it could be a lot of fun! Lots of great advice here, so nothing I can add. It WAS a tough vote and an 'I VOTED' sticker is a brilliant idea! He he heJulieSwitzerlandnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-54208324038179792222015-02-04T22:20:32.679-05:002015-02-04T22:20:32.679-05:00Loving the illustration of weather forecasting Phy...Loving the illustration of weather forecasting Phyllis. Very nice.<br />I've cast my vote but it was a difficult choice. I think I'll have two brownie's please.<br />I would read today's WYRI. We get the gist of the conflict and ideas of the mess that happens to resolve the conflict, but to have that extra tease near the end really takes the cake. Wait, I'll grab one more brownie for the pitch-giver :-)Angela Brownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-90665694253658160822015-02-04T21:31:00.197-05:002015-02-04T21:31:00.197-05:00Really sweet forecast, Dana!
Sorry I've been...Really sweet forecast, Dana! <br /><br />Sorry I've been MIA, Susanna. I'm finally getting caught up . . . Wait . . . It's February?<br /><br />Kirsten, I can't wait to read this book. Once you assimilate all the great advice below, I'm sure your pitch will be as irresistible as your story.Joanne Robertshttp://bookish-ambition.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-31398851611643251872015-02-04T21:27:18.672-05:002015-02-04T21:27:18.672-05:00Thank you for the kudos on my illustration Julie! ...Thank you for the kudos on my illustration Julie! It was fun to make! :-)Dana Atnipnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-89941357467258037942015-02-04T20:27:22.417-05:002015-02-04T20:27:22.417-05:00Thanks Marla.Thanks Marla.Kirsten Larsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-56959774071822907362015-02-04T20:26:55.537-05:002015-02-04T20:26:55.537-05:00Thanks Teresa. That means a lot coming from you!Thanks Teresa. That means a lot coming from you!Kirsten Larsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-8885192004238301392015-02-04T20:26:42.082-05:002015-02-04T20:26:42.082-05:00Thanks so much for your helpful comments for Kirst...Thanks so much for your helpful comments for Kirsten, Marla!Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-75186471914839613852015-02-04T20:24:57.100-05:002015-02-04T20:24:57.100-05:00Thank you for voting, and for helping to get all t...Thank you for voting, and for helping to get all this chocolate off my hands, and for your encouragement for Kirsten, and for coming to my neck of the woods today so I could finally meet you in real life! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-37396337822549403422015-02-04T20:13:09.626-05:002015-02-04T20:13:09.626-05:00Thanks Karen, sounds like I should make my ending ...Thanks Karen, sounds like I should make my ending less mysterious. :)Kirsten Larsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-50105292975272517782015-02-04T19:27:26.856-05:002015-02-04T19:27:26.856-05:00I'm afraid I was the falling asleep queen :)I'm afraid I was the falling asleep queen :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-31601039922827466272015-02-04T19:27:16.519-05:002015-02-04T19:27:16.519-05:00Thanks so much for your helpful suggestions for Kr...Thanks so much for your helpful suggestions for Kristen, Diane! And I should have been more careful with the proofreading on my end too!Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-85415665658779173382015-02-04T19:27:08.274-05:002015-02-04T19:27:08.274-05:00Voted and ate some chocolate! :)
Kirsten's...Voted and ate some chocolate! :) <br /><br /><br /><br />Kirsten's pitch was very concise and well-written...I would totally read that!Teresa Robesonhttp://teresarobeson.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-9499861736457397572015-02-04T19:26:55.886-05:002015-02-04T19:26:55.886-05:00I'm a maybe. The first line of the pitch was a...I'm a maybe. The first line of the pitch was a bit problematic for me to get through. I'm wondering if Finley wallops the fly with his sandwich. I wasn't quite sure what he wished for either. I think it might be a really funny story though. I liked Penny's suggestions for upping the stakes & pushing the humor into the pitch.Marla Lesagenoreply@blogger.com