tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post1863904940104348909..comments2024-02-25T10:47:13.049-05:00Comments on Susanna Leonard Hill: Would You Read It #134 - Little Lizzie Knows What She's Doing (PB) PLUS The April Pitch WinnerSusanna Leonard Hillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655630528649780363noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-64615134693693997352014-05-24T09:37:09.961-04:002014-05-24T09:37:09.961-04:00Great to see you've already got a revision! Y...Great to see you've already got a revision! You'll be ahead of the game when it comes time for the pitch pick :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-78791283108034483612014-05-24T09:19:53.062-04:002014-05-24T09:19:53.062-04:00Thanks so much for chiming in for Linda, Jill! :)Thanks so much for chiming in for Linda, Jill! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-21584344998101878422014-05-24T09:19:23.344-04:002014-05-24T09:19:23.344-04:00Thanks so much for your constructive comments for ...Thanks so much for your constructive comments for Linda, Ann - I'm sure she will find them very helpful!Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-31793426621678438512014-05-24T09:18:20.413-04:002014-05-24T09:18:20.413-04:00Thanks so much for your helpful comments for Linda...Thanks so much for your helpful comments for Linda, Melanie! I think a lot of us with kids can relate to this one :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-29341050994111540732014-05-23T22:42:49.379-04:002014-05-23T22:42:49.379-04:00Thanks much for your creative suggestions, Ann. Mu...Thanks much for your creative suggestions, Ann. Much to think about.Linda Moore Kurthnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-62690839926445554702014-05-23T19:56:46.520-04:002014-05-23T19:56:46.520-04:00Lizzie is an intrepid, active, intriguing little g...Lizzie is an intrepid, active, intriguing little girl - I'd definitely read this! But I'd like to see Linda connect up each experiment with motivation - like the cat rolled in something and needed a bath - if you have Lizzie solving a problem with each experiment, we would get more insights into her character and how she thinks. I'd also love to see really unique experiments - based on Lizzie's exploration and discoveries of the world around her. I had a couple of friends who jumped off their roofs holding umbrellas when I was a kid, for instance, and it seems like a fairly common thing to do. Perhaps you could make Lizzie's jump unique to her for the reasons she does it - as well as it's off the dog house (how far did she jump?) Also, perhaps each experiment leads to another problem, which Lizzie solves with yet another experiment because she knows what she's doing. Anyway, it's a great idea, a delightful character & I look forward to seeing this in print!Ann Gronvoldnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-51152932717391591602014-05-22T20:26:53.898-04:002014-05-22T20:26:53.898-04:00Linda - I liked this story idea because it reminde...Linda - I liked this story idea because it reminded me a lot of my 4 1/2 year old! I like your revision here, especially the line about Lizzie combining curiosity with good sense - at least until Monday comes again! I think you could probably remove the line, "Each day, Lizzie experiences the unhappy consequences of her failed experiments" because your examples show us that.Melanie Ellsworthnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-40206013102299686632014-05-22T19:39:23.043-04:002014-05-22T19:39:23.043-04:00To show I've paid attention to your comments, ...To show I've paid attention to your comments, here's my revised version;<br /><br />“I know what I’m doing!” is Lizzie's reply Monday through Saturday when her parents warn her about trying something new. She gives the cat a bath and gets scratched. She jumps off the roof of the dog house with an umbrella and hurts her leg. Each day, Lizzie experiences the unhappy consequences of her failed experiments. Finally, on Sunday, she discovers that combining curiosity with good sense is the best way to truly know what she’s doing…at least until Monday comes again.Linda Moore Kurthnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-75322540553043378012014-05-22T19:06:44.944-04:002014-05-22T19:06:44.944-04:00Thanks so much, all of you. I've found a take-...Thanks so much, all of you. I've found a take-away from each one of you. Vivian, I especially like your suggestion. I'm so grateful for your encouragement. <3Linda Moore Kurthnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-12694363511542298912014-05-22T06:06:50.827-04:002014-05-22T06:06:50.827-04:00Thank you for your very thoughtful comments for Li...Thank you for your very thoughtful comments for Linda, Stacy! I'm sure she will find them helpful. And now, please have an extra helping of chocolate because anyone who spends all day with a toddler certainly needs and deserves it :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-49069675477108035402014-05-22T00:07:01.951-04:002014-05-22T00:07:01.951-04:00Chocolate cups are perfect. I have a little Lizzie...Chocolate cups are perfect. I have a little Lizzie at my house and he sometimes surprises me, so I'm a yes. The first line of the pitch made me wonder if the story could be preachy or message-y. The rest sounded more like a story a child/parent could relate to while reading. I would suggest deleting the first sentence and going straight into Little Lizzie wants to figure out .... Then maybe another example like the cat. The interesting consequences ... "interesting" seems too generic. As the mom of a toddler, I envision what "interesting" can be (and maybe lived it today), but as a reader "interesting" feels vague. Are the consequences messy, hidden, boisterous? When you have the full manuscript, how do you describe the consequences? If that makes sense at all. Good luck.Stacy S. Jensenhttp://www.stacysjenen.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-49483749912778096532014-05-21T22:09:33.053-04:002014-05-21T22:09:33.053-04:00Well, thank you! You're very kind and I SO ap...Well, thank you! You're very kind and I SO appreciate it! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-17803797111327597952014-05-21T22:08:28.299-04:002014-05-21T22:08:28.299-04:00Thanks so much for sharing your reaction for Linda...Thanks so much for sharing your reaction for Linda - I'm sure she'll be pleased :) Enjoy the chocolate (and berries) :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-9429680813309565752014-05-21T22:07:57.169-04:002014-05-21T22:07:57.169-04:00Susanna, I don't know how many followers you h...Susanna, I don't know how many followers you have, but I am SURE they feel the same way I do :) And trust me, whenever the chance arises, I'm spreading the word just as it was spread to me (thanks so much, Lauri!). After all, our NJ SCBWI Conference is coming next month! :D:Donna Marienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-85106542737978525012014-05-21T22:07:43.692-04:002014-05-21T22:07:43.692-04:00Ah, Angela! A girl after my own heart who underst...Ah, Angela! A girl after my own heart who understands the health benefits of chocolate :) Enjoy! And thanks for your comments for Linda!Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-56926591621951190142014-05-21T22:06:58.704-04:002014-05-21T22:06:58.704-04:00Gosh! If only I'd known how easy it was to ge...Gosh! If only I'd known how easy it was to get loved forever :) Amazing the odd little things I know how to say correctly :) And yes... drizzled in chocolate, served in an edible chocolate cup, with chocolate on the side is the only way to eat anything! Thanks for your very helpful suggestions for Linda!Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-647316933480418012014-05-21T22:04:46.678-04:002014-05-21T22:04:46.678-04:00Thank you for your very perceptive comments for Li...Thank you for your very perceptive comments for Linda, Joanne! I'm sure she will find them thought-provoking and helpful!Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-2530387397196852242014-05-21T22:02:53.410-04:002014-05-21T22:02:53.410-04:00Thanks for your helpful suggestions for Linda, Jul...Thanks for your helpful suggestions for Linda, Julie. You're certainly right that we all need to avoid the "teachy"! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-1571277630670425102014-05-21T22:01:41.810-04:002014-05-21T22:01:41.810-04:00Thanks for you positive response for Linda, Donna!...Thanks for you positive response for Linda, Donna! I'm sure she'll be thrilled! And I'm so glad you love goslings too :) I've got pictures of a currently unfolding goose epic that I haven't had time/space to post yet, but keep an eye out - they're sure to show up somewhere at some point :) And I'm so glad you enjoy my blog - it makes me feel like it's worth writing it :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-84167942477741513522014-05-21T21:59:04.754-04:002014-05-21T21:59:04.754-04:00What kind of hostess would I be if I didn't su...What kind of hostess would I be if I didn't supply a chocolate infusion? :) Thanks so much for your very helpful suggestions for Linda. I'm sure she'll be glad of the pitch re-wording!Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-29616948919221057782014-05-21T21:57:26.626-04:002014-05-21T21:57:26.626-04:00I love all baby animals, Stacy - I can't seem ...I love all baby animals, Stacy - I can't seem to help myself :) Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments for Linda. I'm sure she'll find them helpful!Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-85358776709108210472014-05-21T21:56:02.810-04:002014-05-21T21:56:02.810-04:00Thanks so much for your comments for Linda, Genevi...Thanks so much for your comments for Linda, Genevieve - I'm sure she'll be thrilled to have piqued your interest so :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-71910781221343543872014-05-21T21:55:22.299-04:002014-05-21T21:55:22.299-04:00I'm sure Ms. Kurth will be happy you think so,...I'm sure Ms. Kurth will be happy you think so, Erik! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-15955457962680352182014-05-21T19:37:35.274-04:002014-05-21T19:37:35.274-04:00Yum... Chocolate! :D
I would read the book! To me,...Yum... Chocolate! :D<br />I would read the book! To me, the pitch is perfect!!! :DThis_Kid_Reviews_Books_Eriknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-6860736088026568092014-05-21T17:49:43.994-04:002014-05-21T17:49:43.994-04:00I would definitely read this. But I agree with man...I would definitely read this. But I agree with many of the commenters. The pitch left me wanting more - right now! I'm dying to know what else Lizzy does and what trouble she runs into. Sounds like SUCH a fun piece. Good luck with it, Linda.Genevievenoreply@blogger.com