tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post1608150131999785614..comments2024-02-25T10:47:13.049-05:00Comments on Susanna Leonard Hill: Would You Read It Wednesday #164 - The Chocolate Train Wreck (ER) PLUS The February Pitch PickSusanna Leonard Hillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655630528649780363noreply@blogger.comBlogger91125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-29548076720280494062015-03-05T14:18:35.400-05:002015-03-05T14:18:35.400-05:00Donna, it sounds like the perfect way to look ever...Donna, it sounds like the perfect way to look everything over to see how to revise! :D:Donna Marienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-45482992103676289632015-03-05T08:25:31.222-05:002015-03-05T08:25:31.222-05:00Hi Donna!
I'm going to take all these wonderf...Hi Donna!<br /><br />I'm going to take all these wonderful comments and put them in a spreadsheet so I will have them handy when I do revisions...;~0<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment.<br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Donna L Martin<br />www.donnalmartin.com<br />author of THE STORY CATCHER<br />coauthor of CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL: ANGELS AMONG USDonna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-53124180670891753472015-03-05T00:39:09.529-05:002015-03-05T00:39:09.529-05:00Donna, I love the premise of this book! It's s...Donna, I love the premise of this book! It's so original :) With the pitch, I just have two suggestions:<br /><br />For clarification (I was confused), perhaps change this "...don’t seem big enough for her paper..." to this: "...don't seem like big enough subjects for her paper..." Also, since the paper is about her favorite things, I'm now sure how the "nothing new ever happens in Hamilton" fits. I want to hear about the mystery! :)<br /><br /><br /><br />Susanna, I've been guilty of staying in the car or even driving around the block a time or two when there's a good song on the radio (rare these days!) and I won't shut down 'til it's done :) And that chocolate train?! Wow! But what a waste of tasty chocolate lol:Donna Marienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-2730105481709138462015-03-04T23:29:13.318-05:002015-03-04T23:29:13.318-05:00Hi Jen!
You got the story right...it IS based on ...Hi Jen!<br /><br />You got the story right...it IS based on a true story and I will have to check out that book!<br /><br /><br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment.<br /><br /><br />Take care,<br /><br /><br />DonnaDonna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-45956784262295983972015-03-04T23:13:39.212-05:002015-03-04T23:13:39.212-05:00So many great comments - I haven't even read t...So many great comments - I haven't even read them all. But I just want to say that if this is the PB I think it is, then YES, I would read it because it's based on true events if I remember correctly. A good mentor text might be PAPA'S MECHANICAL FISH by Candace Fleming and Boris Kulikov. The story itself is fiction, but in the back matter, you read about the events that inspired it.<br /><br /><br /><br />All that said, I think this pitch is over-edited. My suggestion: Start with mystery and then say how nine-year-old Abigail is determined to solve it, or at least calm her sweet tooth. (I'm sure you've gotten this suggestion before.)JEN Garrettnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-73399951508470441452015-03-04T23:00:27.822-05:002015-03-04T23:00:27.822-05:00So glad you think so!So glad you think so!Donna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-47579683762552605862015-03-04T22:59:44.995-05:002015-03-04T22:59:44.995-05:00Hi Pamela!
I understand where you are coming fro...Hi Pamela! <br /><br />I understand where you are coming from and it certainly might help to switch things up.<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment.<br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Donna L Martin<br />www.donnalmartin.com<br />author THE STORY CATCHER<br />coauthor CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL: ANGELS AMONG USDonna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-27054901202055828562015-03-04T22:57:24.948-05:002015-03-04T22:57:24.948-05:00Hi Maria!
What a great detective you would make! ...Hi Maria!<br /><br />What a great detective you would make! It was indeed an unsolved crash. i will keep your comments in mind with my revisions.<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment.<br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Donna L Martin<br />www.donnalmartin.com<br />author THE STORY CATCHER<br />coauthor CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL: ANGELS AMONG USDonna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-76618940925855218042015-03-04T22:36:09.840-05:002015-03-04T22:36:09.840-05:00Will keep that in mind...thanks!Will keep that in mind...thanks!Donna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-60127645083434942812015-03-04T22:32:41.947-05:002015-03-04T22:32:41.947-05:00Hi Cathy!
Thanks for stopping by to comment.
Ta...Hi Cathy!<br /><br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment.<br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Donna L Martin<br />www.donnalmartin.com<br />author THE STORY CATCHER<br />coauthor CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL: ANGELS AMONG USDonna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-13199898088327580562015-03-04T22:31:54.963-05:002015-03-04T22:31:54.963-05:00Hi Sue!
I'm crossing my fingers that maybe on...Hi Sue!<br /><br />I'm crossing my fingers that maybe one day you will get the chance to read it...;~)<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment.<br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Donna L Martin<br />www.donnalmartin.com<br />author THE STORY CATCHER<br />coauthor CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL: ANGELS AMONG USDonna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-34603589455969088702015-03-04T22:24:25.640-05:002015-03-04T22:24:25.640-05:00Donna, Chocolate and a mystery - I'd love to r...Donna, Chocolate and a mystery - I'd love to read it. I agree that it would benefit from a hint as to what the mystery is (an unsolved crash), calling it historical fiction, and introducing the 50 years earlier. BUT, I love the premise. Maybe a jumping off point - "Nine–year-old Abigail must WRITE (instead of "do") an essay about one of her favorite things. Discovering the mystery of an airborne diesel engine and 50 tons of chocolate, unsolved for the past fifty years later, combines her loves of train whistles and chocolate-chip-cookies." Can't wait to see this one in print!Maria Marshallnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-32314722493879260362015-03-04T22:23:13.931-05:002015-03-04T22:23:13.931-05:00Hi Genevieve!
Lol...the first time I wrote this p...Hi Genevieve!<br /><br />Lol...the first time I wrote this pitch I used "flying diesel train" and some people thought I meant it was going really fast when in fact the train actually FLEW through the air! I guess it's back to the writing board for revisions...;~)<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment.<br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Donna L Martin<br />www.donnalmartin.com<br />author THE STORY CATCHER<br />coauthor CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL: ANGELS AMONG USDonna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-51114547854066681862015-03-04T22:09:19.258-05:002015-03-04T22:09:19.258-05:00Hey Donna!!! Yes, I would read this book. A myster...Hey Donna!!! Yes, I would read this book. A mystery? A chocolate mystery? A fifty year old chocolate mystery to boot? All the info is there in your pitch to pull the reader in. However, it reads as if 50 years have past for the mc. How do you feel about introducing the mystery a tad earlier? Abigail of course decides to do her essay on it because it beats train whistles and chocolate chip cookies in boring Hamilton. Not this, but my point is to switch the cause and effect around. Just a thought. <br /><br />And Susanna, I just love creative people. Especially creative people that can design even more delightful ways to enjoy chocolate.Pamela Courtneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-48778169453927226142015-03-04T22:05:30.857-05:002015-03-04T22:05:30.857-05:00Hi Rosi!
I will keep everyone's comments in m...Hi Rosi!<br /><br />I will keep everyone's comments in mind when I do my revisions so I can work to make my pitch clearer to understand.<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment.<br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Donna L Martin<br />www.donnalmartin.com<br />author THE STORY CATCHER<br />coauthor CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL: ANGELS AMONG USDonna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-44196852254086145752015-03-04T21:58:08.026-05:002015-03-04T21:58:08.026-05:00Hi Carol!
I'm glad I could at least tempt you...Hi Carol!<br /><br />I'm glad I could at least tempt you with the chocolate...;~)<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment.<br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Donna L Martin<br />www.donnalmartin.com<br />author THE STORY CATCHER<br />coauthor CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL: ANGELS AMONG USDonna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-8215812727880253192015-03-04T21:56:54.911-05:002015-03-04T21:56:54.911-05:00Hi Keila!
This is a creative nonfiction story tha...Hi Keila!<br /><br />This is a creative nonfiction story that takes place the day before the actual train wreck. So many great comments and so much to think about.<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment.<br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Donna L Martin<br />www.donnalmartin.com<br />author THE STORY CATCHER<br />coauthor CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL: ANGELS AMONG USDonna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-14368932695748285222015-03-04T21:39:22.617-05:002015-03-04T21:39:22.617-05:00Hi Catherine!
It's interesting how a person c...Hi Catherine!<br /><br />It's interesting how a person can write a pitch and they think it's spot on and then someone else looks at it and can only scratch their head...lol...I've got some revising to do! ;~)<br /><br /><br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment.<br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Donna L Martin<br />www.donnalmartin.com<br />author THE STORY CATCHER<br />coauthor CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL: ANGELS AMONG USDonna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-45784404105042209892015-03-04T21:36:11.308-05:002015-03-04T21:36:11.308-05:00HI Stacy!
So many comments, so many wonderful ide...HI Stacy!<br /><br />So many comments, so many wonderful ideas I have to bounce around and use during my revisions.<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment.<br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Donna L Martin<br />www.donnalmartin.com<br />author THE STORY CATCHER<br />coauthor CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL: ANGELS AMONG USDonna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-59959578927997527102015-03-04T21:21:41.935-05:002015-03-04T21:21:41.935-05:00Hi Jilanne!
I can see what's in MY head isn&#...Hi Jilanne!<br /><br />I can see what's in MY head isn't coming out clearly...lol...and I'm loving all these helpful comments! The essay is the way to lead into the story of the actual train wreck. This is a historical event and the mystery is WHO caused the wreck...<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment.<br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Donna L Martin<br />www.donnalmartin.com<br />author THE STORY CATCHER<br />coauthor CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL: ANGELS AMONG USDonna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-91639925113660088902015-03-04T21:18:27.317-05:002015-03-04T21:18:27.317-05:00Hi Charlotte!
I've always loved the sounds of...Hi Charlotte!<br /><br />I've always loved the sounds of trains passing by...the clickety-clack of the wheels and the echoes of the whistle. And yeah, 50 tons of chocolate certainly doesn't hurt...lol...<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment.<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment1<br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Donna L Martin<br />www.donnalmartin.com<br />author THE STORY CATCHER<br />coauthor CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL: ANGELS AMONG USDonna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-91421204252618728052015-03-04T21:16:44.660-05:002015-03-04T21:16:44.660-05:00Hi Sydney!
Thanks for the additional input. I wil...Hi Sydney!<br /><br />Thanks for the additional input. I will keep it in mind when I do my revisions. This story is actually a creative historical nonfiction. It's a mystery as to who caused the train wreck...;~)<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment.<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment1<br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Donna L Martin<br />www.donnalmartin.com<br />author THE STORY CATCHER<br />coauthor CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL: ANGELS AMONG USDonna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-21564649816487049492015-03-04T21:10:05.515-05:002015-03-04T21:10:05.515-05:00Yes! I'm salivating just thinking about it. :D...Yes! I'm salivating just thinking about it. :DJillSF1959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-43381866674579282982015-03-04T21:00:08.831-05:002015-03-04T21:00:08.831-05:00Hi Ariel!
I am soooo grateful for everyone's ...Hi Ariel!<br /><br />I am soooo grateful for everyone's input. My pitch is gonna rock after this! ;~)<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by to comment1<br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Donna L Martin<br />www.donnalmartin.com<br />author THE STORY CATCHER<br />coauthor CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL: ANGELS AMONG USDonna L Martinhttp://www.donnalmartin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-6823929758229760842015-03-04T20:52:41.359-05:002015-03-04T20:52:41.359-05:00Yes, it is... but I still wish I had more time to ...Yes, it is... but I still wish I had more time to read! I miss having just a little quiet time where I don't have to feel guilty that I'm not answering emails or working on critiques or whatever and can just curl up in a chair with a great book for half an hour - heck! even 10 minutes!Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com