tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post561083399100035619..comments2024-02-25T10:47:13.049-05:00Comments on Susanna Leonard Hill: Would You Read It #133 - Orville Wright's Final Flight (NF PB) PLUS The April Pitch PickSusanna Leonard Hillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655630528649780363noreply@blogger.comBlogger75125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-26059820593010600092014-07-06T21:31:20.801-04:002014-07-06T21:31:20.801-04:00Thanks so much for chiming in for Todd, Janet! :)Thanks so much for chiming in for Todd, Janet! :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-89393540431020784512014-07-02T10:40:08.244-04:002014-07-02T10:40:08.244-04:00Hello Todd, I would definitely read your book. Lo...Hello Todd, I would definitely read your book. Love history and I'm happy that your book is for children. Good luck to you.Janet Sue Dawsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-1939882712958343942014-07-01T12:51:29.567-04:002014-07-01T12:51:29.567-04:00:):)Julie Rowan-Zochhttp://julierowanzoch.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-40535984929718922242014-06-30T19:20:28.992-04:002014-06-30T19:20:28.992-04:00You are welcome, Todd. All the best.You are welcome, Todd. All the best.Suzynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-46449975649328354022014-06-30T15:25:14.959-04:002014-06-30T15:25:14.959-04:00Thank you Julia.Thank you Julia.Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-1712025260771168722014-06-30T15:24:31.307-04:002014-06-30T15:24:31.307-04:00Wow! Thank you for so much help Suzy!Wow! Thank you for so much help Suzy!Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-90153784584599307952014-06-30T15:20:09.403-04:002014-06-30T15:20:09.403-04:00Teresa, I'm working on just that right 'pi...Teresa, I'm working on just that right 'pithy pitch.' Thank you for your insight and guidance.Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-66426040011411556122014-06-30T15:19:28.524-04:002014-06-30T15:19:28.524-04:00Interesting. I like the very succinct way you put...Interesting. I like the very succinct way you put it.Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-48299260117000667932014-06-30T15:19:06.815-04:002014-06-30T15:19:06.815-04:00Excellent point Wendy. Thank you.Excellent point Wendy. Thank you.Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-34869361729486399772014-06-30T15:18:29.702-04:002014-06-30T15:18:29.702-04:00Great! Thank you Katie.Great! Thank you Katie.Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-20155616661748929552014-06-30T15:18:20.000-04:002014-06-30T15:18:20.000-04:00I like it too Karen. Thank you for the suggestion...I like it too Karen. Thank you for the suggestions.... applying them now!Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-4515309806370833592014-06-30T15:17:42.699-04:002014-06-30T15:17:42.699-04:00Thank you Joanne. I love the way OWFF rolls of my...Thank you Joanne. I love the way OWFF rolls of my tongue too. I'm working on tightening it up a bit. Thank you.Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-75242337115424112512014-06-30T15:17:06.573-04:002014-06-30T15:17:06.573-04:00I agree Linda, with CC, NF is even more important....I agree Linda, with CC, NF is even more important. It's a good time to write it. Thank you for your insights.Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-60807089991498790532014-06-30T15:16:37.529-04:002014-06-30T15:16:37.529-04:00Excellent questions Kim. Thank you.Excellent questions Kim. Thank you.Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-15014748676553249372014-06-30T15:16:15.171-04:002014-06-30T15:16:15.171-04:00Thank you Brandie; I agree. Too summary like. I&...Thank you Brandie; I agree. Too summary like. I'm working on tightening it up.Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-49304400787537686132014-06-30T15:15:40.335-04:002014-06-30T15:15:40.335-04:00Julie, I really like your suggestions. Thank you!...Julie, I really like your suggestions. Thank you!Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-28325629808604105842014-06-30T15:14:56.526-04:002014-06-30T15:14:56.526-04:00Donna,
Thank you. I agree; need to tighten it up ...Donna,<br />Thank you. I agree; need to tighten it up a bit.Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-55659554125282985762014-06-30T15:14:37.445-04:002014-06-30T15:14:37.445-04:00I'm glad the concept is interesting. Tighteni...I'm glad the concept is interesting. Tightening it up will hopefully make it pitch perfect!Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-36237530427447134292014-06-30T15:14:14.317-04:002014-06-30T15:14:14.317-04:00Christy,
Excellent suggestions. Thank you!Christy,<br />Excellent suggestions. Thank you!Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-69691988239512269582014-06-30T15:13:48.252-04:002014-06-30T15:13:48.252-04:00Vivian, thank you. I'm working on tightening ...Vivian, thank you. I'm working on tightening it up. I appreciate your comments.Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-42402275612800414282014-06-30T15:13:22.366-04:002014-06-30T15:13:22.366-04:00Excellent points on the focus Kathy. Thank you!Excellent points on the focus Kathy. Thank you!Todd Burlesonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-34482746414989951082014-05-21T22:11:47.072-04:002014-05-21T22:11:47.072-04:00Thank you for your very thoughtful comments for To...Thank you for your very thoughtful comments for Todd, Suzy! I'm sure he will appreciate them :)Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-22268228265642241582014-05-21T18:02:15.842-04:002014-05-21T18:02:15.842-04:00Your book, Orville Wright's Last Flight, pique...Your book, Orville Wright's Last Flight, piques my interest. Yes, I would read your book and I know kids, ages 7~12, will, too. I am a little late to the conversation and perhaps a *little new,* to rate your pitch, as I continue to learn and grow, while my writing aspirations evolve. And so, without sounding like a *copy cat,* based on previous suggestions, I, too, note words to cut. May I make two suggestions for the first sentence? . . . most of us conjure up an image of a fragile air craft . . . [I deleted two words: can, that]. I am *stuck* on the word fragile. There is a conflct with the word fragile and workhorse. Two suggestions for revision: Perhaps it was bittersweet for Orville to see . . . [I deleted the words: It must have been] He must have felt amazed . . . [I deleted been and added the word felt]. All the best to you, Todd. This GROG friend is proud of you. With sincere gratitude, I thank you for your service.Suzynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-59465888147703488682014-05-16T14:56:46.320-04:002014-05-16T14:56:46.320-04:00Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments for To...Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments for Todd, Julia!Susanna Leonard Hillhttp://susannahill.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1007703247358638748.post-53900770505489688122014-05-16T14:52:17.316-04:002014-05-16T14:52:17.316-04:00I was going to add my two cents, but there is plen...I was going to add my two cents, but there is plenty of good advice already here, so here's one cent: Shorten up. Find the hook and get it front and center. Was Orville unhappy that the airplane was the backbone of war machinery? If so, that might be a good beginning. <br /><br /><br />t's a great topic, and will attract many readers.Julia W.noreply@blogger.com